Let It Go
by TOPlover15
Summary: Hermione Granger had lived her life as Pureblood best friend of Draco Malfoy until her parents revealed that they had adopted her from a muggle couple, and everything changes. Without her, Draco falls deeper into Voldemort's plans and she will do anything to make everything the same as before. DMxHG Slight AU.
1. Catch Me

"Hermione!"

She started, looking up from her excessive staring at the Slytherin table, pondering where a certain blonde-haired boy was. Ron's voice had cut into her thoughts. She pasted on a smile and answered Ron. "Yes?"

"I was asking if you'll come to our Quidditch match this weekend? It's us against Slytherin." Ron continued, unfazed by the fake smile on his best friend's face.

A genuine smile came, "Of course I will," Hermione glanced at the clock and frowned in dismay. "I have to get a book from the library if you'll excuse me. It's so important, I can't believe I forgot! The library will close soon!"

Harry looked up from chatting with Ginny to smile and nod. Ron looked put out, but Lavender's constant fawning solved that.

She headed for the doors and shut out the endless roar with the heavy door. Her footsteps echoed down the empty hall as she hurried to the library before curfew.

"Where's the Mudblood going now?"

The voice stopped Hermione in her tracks and caused her to suck in a breath of suddenly cold air. She turned slowly to the source, a blank emotionless mask plastered on. She wasn't disappointed.

Malfoy stood there with his hands stuck deep into his pockets and a menacing blue-gray stare. His lips were curved into a smirk, his platinum blonde hair swept back with gel.

"What do you want?" Hermione replied.

"I believe I asked first, Granger," Draco said, pulling his hands out of his pockets and stepping forward.

She gave an exasperated huff and an eye roll. "If you must know, I'm heading for the library, which is down this hall. Although I wouldn't expect you to know where the library is since you never use it."

Malfoy sneered. He continued as if she never said the last part. "You should give up your studies, Granger. With blood like yours, no one would ever want you no matter how much knowledge you possess."

"Funny, my blood didn't matter to you before." Hermione seethed.

Draco's eyes hardened and he quickly push her against the wall with his arms standing guard on either side of her head. Her brown eyes widened in surprise, and when her senses came back, he already had her trapped.

"That was because you tricked me. You lied to me. I would never have even looked at you if I had known." He sneered.

"I didn't even do it on purpose! I thought you wouldn't care about my blood because you cared enough about me! Was it so wrong to think you cared?" Hermione hit him in the chest.

The boy laughed, a chilling sound in the stone hall. "That's the point. You _think _too much. You _think _that people care. That they love you. But they don't. They disappoint. They _fool _you. You, who thought too much." He looked up and sighed. His arms dropped and he turned his back on her.

After a slight pause, she spoke. "Is that what happened to you? Did your parents do that to you?"

He glanced back over his shoulder. "Perhaps. Perhaps my parents made me think they cared." He turned to face her with harsh eyes. "Or, if it ever crossed your puny mind, I was talking about _you._" With that, he swept his robes and walked down the hall to the Dining Hall.

He left Hermione with her mouth slightly open, and her heart clenching in pain. How dare he? Whenever she thought back on what happened, it was always him who did the wrong. _Him _who hurt _her._ Not the other way around. Was she really the one who had betrayed him? She shook her head clear of the questions, the doubts. She didn't have time for this. It had happened years ago. They should both let it go.

Hermione walked faster to the library, racing the clock. She found her book before the library closed, and hurried to the dorms.

Ginny was waiting for her in the commons. Seeing her friend who cared so much about her, Hermione couldn't hold back the tears. They came trailing down her pale cheeks, dripping down her chin onto her cloak.

"What's wrong?" Ginny rushed to her side and hugged her. "What happened?"

Hermione shook her head, dropping it onto Ginny's shoulder. "It hurts," she sobbed.

Ginny knew what she was talking about. Everyone knew. After Draco had found out, he had blurted it out to the world. Harry, Ron, and Ginny hadn't cared. Neither had all the rest of her friends.

"Oh, 'Mione," Ginny smoothed her bushy hair back. "It's alright. You know we love you. Who the hell cares what Draco Malfoy thinks?"

"That's the problem! I do. Even though he's hurt me so much, I can't stop thinking he's my friend. And he would be! If my blood wasn't- wasn't-"

"Stop it. No one cares about your blood. You're still our 'Mione. We love you. That's enough. You're part of the Golden Trio remember? You're strong. You can get over it." Ginny pulled her in tighter. "Malfoy can think whatever he wants; you will never be anything but my best friend."

Hermione nodded, and pulled away after wiping all her tears away. Sure, now her eyes looked raw, but her resolve was back and she wouldn't let a stupid Slytherin bring her down.

And it would have been easy. If she didn't think so damn much.

The weekend came so quickly. Hermione wrapped a red and gold scarf around her neck and red mittens. With her feet stuffed in winter boots, she headed out through the freezing air to the Quidditch stands. She sat by herself high in the bleachers and waved at Ginny and Harry who were warming up on the ground below.

As the game began, she cheered for her team and booed with her crowd when the Slytherins scored. When the game was getting close to the end, and the Gryffindors were in the chance of losing, Harry caught the Snitch. The bleachers erupted in cheers and everyone streamed onto the field when the players alighted.

"Hermione! Did you see that?" Ron scurried over, broom in hand. "Great game wasn't it? If Harry hadn't caught that Snitch, we would've lost!"

She smiled and nodded. "It was a wonderful game. Great save there by the way,"

Ron beamed with pride. "'Course it was. Been training lots. Hey, 'Mione, we got a party tonight for celebration. You coming?"

"Oh, um," She looked around.

Ginny came up with Harry. "You should really come." The redhead leaned in closer. "Take your mind off of things." She whispered, a knowing look in her eyes.

Hermione hesitated. "I don't know…"

Harry laughed. "If it's your studies, those can wait. Besides, it's the weekend!"

"Oh alright!" Hermione smiled. "Fine, I'll go."

"Well, come on, we got to get ready." Ginny said, pulling Ron and Harry by the arm towards the entrance to Hogwarts.

Hermione looked around, and spotted Draco in the center of the field, just standing there with a mask of indifference and his broom by his side. Seeing him there, all alone, caused her heart to ache and she glanced back at Ginny.

"I," She looked over her shoulder, "I think I'm gonna stay around a little longer. Enjoy the fresh air."

Ron took a step towards her. "I'll stay with you."

Ginny grabbed him back. She'd noticed Malfoy too. "I think she'd like to have some alone time,"

Hermione smiled. She waited for her friends to disappear before turning to walk towards Malfoy. He had turned and now he was watching the brunette walk towards him through the thin covering of fall leaves.

"What are you doing out here all alone?" Malfoy said, quirking his eyebrow. "Not afraid the big bad wolf will bite you again?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Hardly." Her tone turned softer. "I just thought you'd like some company."

He snorted. "And you thought you would be the best candidate."

"No, I came to apologize."

"For what? Being a Mudblood?" He looked at her skeptically.

"No. For last night. And how I never thought of it your way. And because I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. And because I _do _care about you." She pushed out. "I care about what you think about me and what you feel about the things I say and do. And- And _nothing_ will ever change that."

He looked disbelieving. "Don't try to pretend you know me, Granger. You don't. You pretend you care and all it's for is to get back at me. I don't need you or any other blood traitor or mudblood." He leaned closer. "There's trouble coming and you know it."

"What do you know about Voldemort?" She narrowed her eyes. "You can't possibly be involved?"

He chuckled lowly, humorlessly. "Ah, I know enough. Don't underestimate me." He pushed past her and headed for the school.

She turned with him. "You didn't answer my question."

"I've answered all I wanted to." He replied, tightening his grip on his broom. She noticed this movement.

"You're nervous about something. You're worried. Who for, I wonder?" When no answer was met, she plowed on. "You aren't involved with You-Know-Who. Tell me. Please say you aren't in this."

He spun around, nearly knocking her over. "It's none of your bloody business."

"It is! If you are involved, you'll get hurt! You'll put everyone in danger!" Hermione snapped, pushing her hand on his chest. He raised his arms to push her back. She grabbed his left arm. She looked at him. "If you aren't a Death Eater, you'll let me look at your arm?"

He growled. "No, stop it."

She started pushing his sleeve up.

His hand flew out and grabbed hers. She looked up into his blue-gray eyes. "Don't. You-" He hesitated. "You won't like what you see either way. If it's there you're disappointed, if it isn't, you're still disappointed that you're wrong."

She shook her head. "I would never be disappointed at being wrong about _this_."

"Doesn't matter. You aren't looking at my arm and that's final. Let me go." The boy grinded out.

She looked back down. Once she spoke her voice was a whisper. "You would have told me if I wasn't a muggleborn?"

He sighed. "No."

She felt tears in the corner of her eyes. "Would you have told anyone else?"

"No, now let me go!"

Hermione looked up. "Fine. But I count this as a betrayal to Harry and Ron. If I ever get the chance again, you can bet I'm looking at your bloody arm." She flung his arm to the side and hurried back inside.

Tears threatened to spill over, but she sucked them back. Hermione Granger could not cry. She was strong, part of the Golden Trio. Not a blasted crybaby. She could get over this without stupid tears.

The night was fun, drinking pumpkin juice and eating chocolate frogs surrounded by friends, by Gryffindors. It was relaxing, after spending forever worrying about You-Know-Who and studies. She knew Ron and Harry really needed a break and she was glad that Quidditch had become useful for once.

"So," Ginny said, sitting by the fire with Hermione.

"Yeah?" She answered, knowing where this was going.

"How was your talk with Malfoy?"

She sighed. "I tried to apologize for not thinking about how he felt, but he totally blocked me out." She looked at Ginny. "I think he's a Death Eater Ginny."

Ginny looked surprised, but not a lot. "How do you know?"

"I wanted to look at his left arm, and he said no." Hermione put her head down on her knees. "Why would he say no if there wasn't anything there?"

"I," Ginny answered, taking a shallow sip of pumpkin juice. "I really don't know. But you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe he just felt bad about _not _having one. Like he was a disgrace."

"Maybe." Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Ginny. I'm kind of tired. I want to take go to bed now. Have a great night."

"Good night," The girls hugged and parted ways.

After Hermione walked up the stairs and flopped onto her bed, she fell straight asleep.

_"Hermione!" Draco shrieked. "You pushed me!"_

_ She laughed, running through the garden with the wet boy chasing her. "Nu-uh! You tripped! Don't blame your clumsiness on me!"_

_ Draco caught up to the giggling girl and tackled her into the daisy meadow. The seven-year olds tickled each other before rolling down the slight hill on top of each other. They landed apart from the other with their fingers touching. _

_ "Draco?" She asked, her brown eyes glancing over at the blonde boy._

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "Do you like me?" She rolled onto her side to stare at him. "I mean like like. Not just like."_

_ Draco laughed. "You just said like twice."_

_ Hermione blushed. "I'm trying to speak my feelings and all you're doing is pick on me!" She scooted over to the boy and hit him._

_ The boy laughed harder. "I don't want to tell you."_

_ "Tell me!" She squealed, pushing him._

_ "No!" He got up, and grinned at her. "You'll have to catch me for me to say." He started running and the little girl got up and ran screaming after him._

_ "Teeeelllll mmmmeeeee!" _

_ The scene changed and she was on the roof of the Malfoy Manor. There were muggle fireworks going off in the far distance and she was watching them with a wineglass of juice. It was New Year's Eve and she had been invited to the Malfoy's party because her parents were rather important in the wizarding society._

_ Draco had been ignoring her all night because she had taunted him about flirting with the girls at the party. When she had headed for the roof, she had noticed he was trying even harder and that he finally got a girl to go upstairs with him. That's when she left._

_ Hearing muffled footsteps behind her; she looked over her shoulder and Draco as he came and sat beside her. He was holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses._

_ "A toast?" He asked, lifting the bottle._

_ She nodded and he poured out two glasses of it. He handed her one and they clinked them together before each chugging down the bubbly liquid. Glancing over at him, she notice that his shirt was untucked and his tie tied horrendously._

_ "Was it fun?" She asked._

_ "What?" He looked at her._

_ She rolled her eyes before looking up at the fireworks again. "The girl. I assume something happened."_

_ He laughed. "Oh her. No, we just made out for a while. She wasn't good enough for me."_

_ She looked at him with a criticizing gaze. "You didn't leave her hanging did you?"_

_ He gulped and looked away from her stare. "Um,"_

_ "Draco Malfoy, I expect that you know how to treat a lady! You don't ever leave her like that! You're such a jerk." Hermione downed the rest of her glass while hiding her secret smile. So he wasn't that bad of a jerk as she thought he was. Bedding a girl just because she had taunted that no one would want him._

_ "Draco,"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "What time is it?"_

_ He looked at his watch. "11:59. Right on time, Granger." He looked at her. "Have you ever heard of a New Year's Eve tradition?"_

_ Hermione shook her head. _

_ "You're supposed to kiss whoever's closest when the clock strikes twelve." He leaned closer. "Can I do that?" _

_ She looked into his blue-gray eyes and blushed before nodding. So just after the adults downstairs burst into bottle-popping whooping New Year's cheer, Draco leaned in and placed his lips on hers. His lips where soft and tasted of the champagne along with a cherry flavor, most likely left over from the girl. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. _

_ They pulled away and she looked into the sky of gleaming white stars. "That was my first kiss."_

_ "Sorry," He said, looking away too. _

_ She shook her head and smiled, grabbing his head to force him to look into her brown chocolate eyes. "It couldn't have been anyone better."_

_ "Granger." He said, his tone serious._

_ "Yes?"_

_ "I think, I think I'm falling for you. Are you falling for me?"_

_ She laughed. "You'll have to catch me for me to answer that." She got up and headed for the stairs that lead into the house._

_ Draco smirked. "Damn."_


	2. Monster

In the morning, she woke up suddenly, pulled out of her memories of the years before. She felt her cheeks and discovered they were wet with salty tears. The flashbacks of her old life with Draco had shaken her to her core, since she tried her best not to think about him during the day. But at night, there were no conscious barriers that kept Draco away.

She wiped them away before the other girls waking up could see. Hermione got up and dressed in her uniform and tried to tame her bushy hair. After yanking her brush through it several times, she gave up on it and switched to making sure her homework was all packed neatly and in order of her classes. After that was done, she and Ginny headed for the Great Hall for breakfast. Ron and Harry were already there and in the process of stuffing food into their faces.

Hermione selected a few pastries and a cup of milk before finally digging in. All the emotion of yesterday night had left her starving and she ended up reaching for seconds.

On her way to class, one without any of her best friends, she walked straight into another person. Dropping down to pick up her books, she bobbed her head profusely and apologized. "Good gracious , I'm terribly sorry! So sorry! Didn't see you there."

A dark chuckle made her look up. It was Malfoy and his posse. She rolled her eyes and stood up, ready to move on. Crabbe and Goyle blocked her way and she huffed. "Really Malfoy, you've got to train your dogs better. They shouldn't stand in the way of another person."

"Ah, but I've trained them quite well then. Mudbloods aren't considered 'people' in the wizarding society." Draco smirked, cocking his head.

"If you are going to waste my oh so precious time with your ranting of Pureblood 'superiority', I would suggest letting me go and finding someone more willing to listen." Hermione turned to look at him. Her hands were stationed on her hips and her eyebrows knitted together.

"Well then, I've got to hurry with it then. The Mudblood needs to get on with her precious time." Malfoy sneered, causing the goons to laugh.

"Oh, Merlin's beard!" Hermione sighed, and she turned back to the 'dogs' and shoved at them. "Leave me be you delirious bloody imbeciles!"

Draco chuckled and gestured at his followers. "Let her go. She's not worth the trouble. I'm sure she's running off to her boyfriends now."

As the boys stepped apart, she pushed through and glanced back at the Malfoy heir. "What's happened to you? You've turned into a monster." With that, she burst into a run and dodged the few remaining people in the hall before darting into her class.

00000000000

"'Mione, are you alright?" Harry asked, concern written clearly on his face. "Your face is so pale."

"Oh, I'm fine, Harry." Hermione answered vaguely, trying to fight off sleepiness while editing her essay for the fifth time.

"You should head to sleep. Your essays are always perfect. One more edit won't make a difference." Harry answered, pulling up from his sprawled position.

"But-" She couldn't say the rest of her sentence. _But sleep brings on Draco. _

"No buts." He shook his head firmly. He smiled. "Don't make me chase you up there."

Hermione smiled weakly. "Alright. For you."

0000000000

_ "Hermione," Her father spoke lowly._

_ "Yeah?" She looked up from writing a letter to Harry. "What's going on?"_

_ "Your mother and I would like to speak to you." _

_ She stood and shuffled her papers into a neat pile. "Alright. Where?"_

_ He nodded towards the dining room. They walked together in silence to the table. Hermione's mother was already sitting there with an expectant look on her face._

_ There was a silence for a while._

_ "Do you feel like you belong here Hermione?" Her mother asked at last._

_ Hermione furrowed her brow. "Of course."_

_ "How so?"_

_ "You're my parents." She heard her mother suck in a breath before her next words. "You care for me, prepare me for the world. I've got great friends that care about me. I, well, I'm not a muggle, I've got magic and I am accepted as who I am in this world." She glanced at her father when he made a grunting noise to this statement. "What's this all about?"_

_ "Hermione." her father leaned forward and laced his fingers together. "We've been keeping something from you for a long time. You turned thirteen a while ago."_

_ She nodded._

_ "Your mother and I had always wanted a child when we first married."_

_ "Yes, I know, you made many attempts, and you thought you two were unable to reproduce. But then I was born." Hermione smiled._

_ "That's not exactly true."_

_ Her blood ran cold. "What?" Her voice was incredulous._

_ "We went to the doctor. Your father isn't able to reproduce. I wanted a child so badly, and since we never believed the nonsense of Pureblood superiority we went to a muggleborn orphanage." Her mother admitted, rushing her words._

_ "What?" Hermione repeated._

_ "When we saw you, we knew it would be you. You were such a beautiful girl." Her father said._

_ "Impossible. They wouldn't have known I was magical at such a young age." Hermione accused._

_ "They knew, since the woman had a sister that had been a witch. They somehow knew."_

_ Hermione closed her eyes. "Promise you are not kidding?"_

_ "Promise." Her father said._

_ "Okay."_

_ "Okay?" Her mother glanced at her father. "What does okay mean darling?"_

_ "I mean I'm fine with it. I, I understand why you didn't tell me. I understand why it had to be done. You're certainly forgiven if that's what you're asking."_

_ Her parents smiled, looking at one another again. "We raised such a wonderful daughter." her father proclaimed. "So forgiving and kind and caring. Thank you 'Mione. Thank you for understanding. And I want you to understand that we love you still, no matter where you came from."_

_ The three hugged and there were kisses all around._

0000000000

It was a Hogsmeade weekend. Ginny and Hermione went together and spent it buying new quills and parchment.

"Ginny, I want some new books, can we drop by?" Hermione glanced longingly at the new bookstore, Paper & Parchment.

Ginny hesitated, glancing down the street. "I was actually going to meet up with Harry."

"Oh, that's fine, I'll go by myself. You'll be fine from here?" Hermione took a step backward in the direction of the store.

"Yeah, go ahead."

She spun around and nearly skipped into the store. She looked through the tomes, her nose crowded with the smell of parchment and fresh ink. She selected a few and brought them up to the cashier.

"Excuse me, I was wondering, why is the store called 'Paper & Parchment'?" Hermione questioned, watching as the clerk tallied up her price.

"Oh, we've got a whole muggle collection in the back. But we only show it to people who aren't against the idea of muggleborns." The boy answered. Then he paused, looking at her fearfully. "You aren't a pureblood superiority believer are you?"

She laughed. "No way, I'm a muggleborn myself. Can I see this collection?"

"Sure," he grabbed a key and headed for the back. He unlocked a large black door and gestured inside for her.

She smiled in thanks as he left the key with her.

She browsed through the selections, reading the titles of muggle classics. Catching the title, Little Women, she pulled it out with interest. After reading the summary, she smiled and taking her book, went back into the main store.

"This one too please," Hermione said, pulling out a few galleons to pay for the books.

"Isn't that a grand sight."

She huffed, and rolled her eyes at the clerk. "Malfoy," She turned and smirked. "What an immense pleasure. Didn't get enough of me at school I gather?"

He snorted. "Wish I could say the same to you, Mudblood."

"There goes the nickname again. I believe it has long lost its affect." Hermione grabbed her books after paying. She headed for the exit. She realized she still had the key.

"Sorry," she said, rushing back to return the brass key.

"What's that?" Malfoy asked.

"Nothing of your concern." She replied, still swinging past him.

"What was it?"

"Oh Merlin's hat! You are such an insufferable git." Hermione stuck her finger in his chest.

He snorted again and continued to follow her.

"Unless you're going to buy me a hot chocolate, you should leave." She said, glancing back at him.

Without a word, he disappeared.

"Now I can finally get something done!" Hermione muttered.

"What was that, Granger?"

"OH BY THE HAIRS IN MERLIN'S ARMPITS!" Hermione spun around, narrowly missing the hand Draco had extended. She softened. "What's that?"

He scoffed. "Brightest witch of our age doesn't recognize hot chocolate."

She looked at him disbelieving. "You got it for me?"

He nodded.

"You didn't do anything to it?"

He nodded.

She smiled. "Thanks." She reached out and took the cup.

As they continued along the street while Hermione window-shopped, Draco spoke again.

"Thought you liked champagne?" He said, glancing at his companion.

She looked at him with a sad stare. "It lost its wonder after I lost the person I could share it with."

He shook his head. "You don't miss me."

"I _do. _I don't care what you say. I do miss you and I will forever." Hermione pressed, her gaze very serious.

"You wouldn't miss me after you knew what kind of person I am now." Draco looked up at the sky with a cool expression.

She stopped walking. "Then what have you become?"

"A monster."

0000000000

_"Hermione?"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "What do you think of me?"_

_ Hermione propped up her torso with her elbows. "What do you mean?"_

_ "I mean, what kind of person do you think I am?"_

_ "I," She pondered the question. "I think you're a jerk. And a bloody bastard, with the will to break the heart of everyone who ever cared about you. But there's another side of you. Someone who loves. Someone who cares about others. The sweet Draco, the one who does nice things, like buy me drinks and give me your cloak when I'm cold. You," She looked at him and smiled. "You're someone I care about. Someone I love the only way you'll accept."_

_ He looked back at her, his expression unreadable._

_ "Why would you ask me something like this?" Hermione sat up, scooting closer to him._

_ "Because," He answered, his eyes never leaving hers. "I think I'm a monster."_

_ "Draco," she warned._

_ "What? It's true. Why else would my own parents hate me so much?"_

_ "Oh, Draco," she said, pulling him close into a hug he knew he couldn't fight off. "I don't know. I don't know why you were born to your parents. All I know is that I should thank them for bringing me such a wonderful friend and making him who he is today."_

_ "To think the know-it-all Miss Granger doesn't know the answer." Draco mumbled into her shirt._

_ "Shut up,"_

_ "Only if you make me."_

_ "You brought this upon yourself," She warned before she lifted her hand. Thinking she was going to hit him, he cringed, but she only caressed his face and leaned in close enough for their foreheads to touch. "I _care_ about you. Don't you ever forget that." _

_ Then she closed the gap and they were kissing._

_ "That made you shut up didn't it?"_

0000000000

"Hermione," Ginny said, nudging her friend. "How was Hogsmeade? Did you have fun after I left?"

Hermione nodded, her gaze drifting to the Slytherin table to look at the blonde boy glancing her way. After he had declared himself a monster, he had left abruptly, leaving her to her memories of him saying that.

"What did you do?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, well, the new bookstore certainly wasn't disappointing. They had some wonderful books and they had a locked section of muggle books. I got one."

"I assumed that much. What did you do afterwards?"

Hermione's staring competition with Malfoy had been going on long enough for his friends to notice, so he dropped his gaze. She turned to look at Ginny. "Malfoy found me. We spent some time together. He, for once, really wasn't a bloody git."

Ginny nodded in understanding. "I'm glad you had a good time with him."

"Me too," Hermione answered.

Ron finally caught onto who they were talking about. "Why you guys talking about that bastard? He hasn't been getting on your nerves has he? I'll punch his bloody skull in!"

"No, he hasn't Ron, though thanks for offering." Hermione smiled at her friend's anger. She looked at her surrounding friends. "I think I'm done for the night."

"Good night 'Mione." Ginny, Ron, and Harry chorused. She smiled and headed out.

She plopped down on her bed, her mind racing. Why was Malfoy acting human again? Could he possibly try to accept her again? No, his Pureblood pride was much more valuable, even when they were friends. And what did he have to do with Voldemort? What was he hiding from her?

She fell asleep with her school clothes on; on top of the covers of her bed. She slept dreamlessly, for once rid off the memories of her old life. It was helpful not to be reminded every time she took a rest of the good times of before.

Even without the dreams, she woke up In the middle of the night. She looked at the clock. Nearly midnight. A little walk after curfew wouldn't be such a bad idea right now.

Hermione got up and straightened her rumpled clothes before sneaking out the dorm and walking towards the Astronomy Tower. Her heart started to beat faster the farther she went away from the safety of her bedcovers. She climbed up the twisting staircase to emerge in the moonlight cast on the cold stone.

She admired the graceful full moon and the twinkling stars, reminded of the one night on the rooftop of Malfoy Manor. A slight shuffle made her head turn.

"Who's there?" She whispered, pulling out her wand.

The figure stepped into the bath of moonlight, his platinum hair illuminated brightly. "Malfoy."

She lowered her wand, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "What are you doing up here so late?"

"I could ask you the same question, Granger."

"Yes, well, I _believe,_ I asked first." Hermione answered, stowing her wand away.

"Fresh air. Getting a bit stuffy in the dorm."

She nodded. "Same."

Draco stepped closer to the windows. "Do you ever dream about before?"

She took a step back. "Why would you even ask?" She sighed. "Of course I do. They were the happiest times of my life."

"How so?"

"I had friends that loved me, parents who were caring, acceptance in the world. Everything I had ever wanted." She paused. "Although I suppose now is even better." She tried to keep going when Draco flinched. "I mean, I have finally learned that being accepted by society isn't what matters. Being accepted by friends and family and the peers you care about is what really matters."

There was a pregnant pause before Malfoy spoke again. "What did you dream about?"

"You." She murmured. "When we were happy. When we were naïve and childish and carefree. When we didn't care what the world thought. When we were…. friends because we could."

"Years ago, you defined me." Malfoy spoke towards the moon.

"I did."

"Do you take it back?"

She shook her head. "Never. Nothing will ever take that Draco from me."

"Okay."

She stepped closer to him and leaned on the bar beside him. "What would you define me as now, Malfoy?"

He looked at her with his piercing eyes. "Don't ask me that."

She nodded. After another pause, she whispered. "I love you Draco." She grabbed his arm.

He looked at it. "What are you doing?"

She looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry."

She pulled up his sleeve, bracing herself for the worst. Slowly, pale white skin appeared, with blue veins webbed across its smooth surface. His skin was unmarked. She let out a breath and tiny droplets of tears formed at the edges of her eyes. She dropped his arm and hugged him tightly. "Oh thank the gods."

He pushed her away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Making sure you aren't jeopardizing the safety of yourself and the ones around you!" Hermione retorted. "Making sure the people I care for aren't going to get hurt."

"Now you know too much."

"What are you talking about?" She backed away as he advanced. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry," He whispered. He leaned in a kissed her forehead. A flash of bright white light appeared from his raised wand and she blacked out.


	3. Forever

_"Are you alright?" _

_ Hermione shook her head violently. "NO."_

_ "Well, what's wrong?" Draco leaned forward with a towel, trying to wipe the freezing water off of her._

_ She glared at him. "What's wrong? Everything! I was trying to hang out with you for once without that stupid Pansy hanging over us and I get pushed into a freezing frog pond! And to make matters worse, you waited for a whole ten minutes before helping me!"_

_ He snorted. "That pond is only a meter deep, 'Mione."_

_ "It's still cold!" The indignant eight-year old stood up. "And it took you quite long to get that towel. And the edges were slippery and I kept slipping back into the water."_

_ "Stop making excuses." Draco muttered, harshly scrubbing at her hair._

_ She huffed in annoyance and sat back down on the patio chair. Once Draco was finished, she looked at him and managed a smile. "Thanks, Drakey."_

_ He groaned. "Stop calling me that! I'm not a baby anymore!"_

_ "You are to me." She grinned, gripping his cheeks with both hands._

_ "Stop it!" Draco slapped at her hands. "I mean it. I'm a grown boy now, nine-years old; I am not going to be treated as a child anymore."_

_ "Stop being such a prat. You've only been nine for two hours, you don't need to be so prideful. And besides, is it really so fun as to be older? Why would you ever want to grow up?" Hermione huffed, crossing her arms._

_ Draco shrugged. "Maybe so I can go to Hogwarts earlier than you."_

_ "Unlikely," She answered, a smug smile on her face. "They would never separate us just because you're a month older." She tapped his head. "You've really got to get some sense into that brain of yours. Maybe you could let me give it a good knock?"_

_ "No!" The young boy sprung up, arms stacked protectively on top of his head. "Never."_

_ She laughed."Alright, I'll leave your head alone."_

_ The two children headed towards the manor hand in hand. _

_ "Do you think the cake is gone?" Hermione asked._

_ "Even if it is, I saved a slice for you when I got the towel," Draco answered, smiling proudly._

_ "Hah!" Hermione stabbed a finger in his face._

_ "What is it now?" He whined._

_ "You _do _like me!"_

_ He scrunched his nose. "Why would you ever think that?"_

_ "You saved me a piece of cake. If you didn't like me, why would you do that?"_

_ "Well, you're my best friend."_

_ She slumped, but looked happy anyway. "Best friend?"_

_ "Forever," he said with a nod._

_ She grinned. "Forever."_

0000000000

"Hermione!" She opened her eyes slightly, feeling a migraine. Everything looked fuzzy and shapeless, like cotton balls. Or watercolor paintings. She closed her eyes.

"Draco?" She croaked, her throat throbbing dryly.

"No! Ew!" A hand slapped her face lightly. "You must be having a nightmare if you're dreaming about him!"

"Water," she said, trying to urge her eyes open, but her brain felt like it were being stabbed by millions of tiny needles. A cool glass was forced to her lips and she took the liquid gratefully. Once she downed the whole cup, the voice spoke again.

"'Mione! Wake up; you'll be late for class!" It was definitely Ginny's voice, her octaves rising and falling in the exact same way.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't give a damn."

She heard Ginny gasp. "Hermione, watch your language, and how can you ever not want to go to class?"

She groaned. "My head. It hurts."

She felt Ginny tap her head with her wand a few times. The pain receded and she could finally open her eyes.

Ginny was sitting beside her while she lay on her bed.

"Hermione Granger, where were you last night?"

"Here," Hermione said, reaching for another glass of water. She took a sip before setting it back down on her nightstand.

Ginny shook her head. "No you weren't. You were found outside the dorm."

Hermione closed her eyes in thought. "I don't really remember anything from last night. Rather strange as I do remember leaving bed, but not what I did."

Ginny looked at her carefully. "Did- did anyone obliviate you I wonder?"

"Why on earth would they do that?"

"Maybe you saw something you shouldn't have seen, or heard something you shouldn't have heard. Maybe they thought you would have told people and their secret would be ruined." Ginny touched her forehead. "I deem you well enough to go to breakfast and then class."

Hermione groaned. "I can't believe there would be a day again when I am once again not the 'mother' but the child."

Ginny smiled. "I'm the Grandmother, 'Mione, Harry and Ron are certainly like your children."

Hermione smiled. "Alright, I can live with that." She got up and straightened her clothes before following Ginny to breakfast.

"Hermione! Are you alright now then?" Harry asked, scrutinizing her carefully.

"'Mione! I saved you a spot!" Ron exclaimed, patting beside him. "How you feeling?"

"I feel like I'm not the 'mother' at all now, I'm just the child of everyone!" Hermione joked, taking her seat.

Harry looked at her seriously. "It's time someone worried about you, since all you do is worry about us."

_And Draco,_ Hermione added. She nodded understandingly. "I get it. You all think I spend too much time worrying about you and neglecting myself."

They nodded.

"Alright, I'll take a break of you guys and think about myself for once. Happy?" She spooned some porridge into her mouth.

"Very much so," Ginny said.

0000000000

Classes went by quickly and before she knew it, she was huddled in the library scribbling down her homework on rolls of fresh parchment. Once she had tweaked all of her answers very carefully and checked it over several times, she pulled out her muggle book.

"Little Women," She murmured, caressing the worn cover. Reading the publishing date, she smiled. "Why, aren't you a fancy looking classic?"

She flipped to the first page, immediately entranced by the lives of girls long ago. The author made everything seem so real, although Hermione could hardly imagine these activities the girls were prone to do. If she had had siblings, she would much rather read with them, or practice spells together, not act out make-believe plays and create a newspaper.

She read for a good while and only looked up when the clock chimed that the library was closing.

"Oh, Merlin!" She mumbled, quickly packing up her things, and rushing out the doors. She would only have ten minutes to arrive at her dorm before curfew was in place.

She rushed up the stairs, but stopped when she saw a shadow move. Hermione pressed herself up against the wall and scooted slowly forward to avoid alerting the figure. His hood fell back and she gasped at his blonde hair. He turned, his blue-gray eyes scanning the surrounding area. Finding nothing to latch onto, he turns and continues on.

Hermione followed him, watching as he went to the seventh floor and disappeared before she could turn the corner. She let out a light breath and turned to continue back to her dorm, this time avoiding any prefects on patrol.

As she lay in bed, she pondered why Draco had been on the seventh floor. Then it hit her. The Room of Requirement was located there. How had he found it? And what was he doing with it? She lay back down and closed her eyes. "Please be not doing something you'll regret, Malfoy. Please?" she whispered.

0000000000

_ It was her birthday, and her parents were both on business trips, unable to wish aher a happy birthday other than the packages they had sent. No one had showed up, although the Weasley family had sent her a gift and Harry didn't have the chance. Draco was probably off with one of his dates. He seemed to have a lot of those recently, since he hardly ever spoke to her now._

_ She flopped onto her bed, positive her birthday was going to be the worst ever. Hermione picked up her book and began reading, trying to lose herself in the words of a make-believe life. She missed the doorbell and only looked up when she heard a knocking sound on her window._

_ It was Draco, flying on his new broom, an annoyed expression on his face. She got up and opened the window, though barring his way in._

_ "What are you here for?" She asked._

_ He rolled his eyes. "It's your blasted birthday."_

_ "I know that." She answered crossing her arms._

_ "Then what the hell did you ask for?"_

_ "Where's my present?" She asked._

_ He smirked and pulled out a small box from his cloak. "So that's all you cared about."_

_ "Maybe." She smiled. "Or, maybe I'm just skeptical as to why you decided to spend your precious time with me."_

_ He frowned. "I spend all my time with you. Now let me in."_

_ She moved away from the window and watched him as he climbed in. "Then what do you call your dates that take up your whole week?"_

_ "Those," he smirked, "are none of your concern."_

_ She pouted. "But I'd like to know my future sister-in-law wouldn't I?"_

_ "Since when were we siblings, and since when was I going to marry the girls?" He asked, handing over her present. _

_ "We've always been siblings." She answered, surveying his reaction to that. But he had put his cool mask on. She looked down at the box and opened in carefully, gasping, as she saw the delicate silver chain. It had a silver snake coiled around a ruby as its pendant, and the chain was fine and had the tiniest chinks._

_ "Thank you," She said, smiling up at the boy. "Help me put it on."_

_ He complied, standing behind her and receiving the chain before clasping it on the nape of her neck. She admired herself in the mirror and he leaned down on her shoulder. "How's it look?" he asked._

_ "It's beautiful," She murmured, stroking the pendant. She turned to face him. "Thank you."_

_ "You might not want to wear it at Hogwarts though. It's a snake and that's obviously is a Slytherin thing." Draco said, fingering the chain._

_ "You're right, but I'll wear it anyway." She smiled at him. "And besides, the ruby makes up for it don't you think?"_

_ "Right." Draco answered, finally smiling back._

_ Hermione gave him a sly smile. "So? Does this finally mean that you like me?"_

_ He groaned. "This again."_

_ "What? You do all these nice things for me. I won't believe you if you say you do it for every girl you meet. You'd have girls falling all over their feet to be your girlfriend then."_

_ "Who's to say they don't already?" he smirked._

_ Hermione's face fell."Well, if that's the case, I would feel rather betrayed seeing as how you said I'm your best friend. I wouldn't want you treating me like some random girl off the street."_

_ He laughed. "I don't like you Granger. But I also don't treat normal girls like this."_

_ "I find it hard to believe that you aren't falling for my charm," She mocked, flipping her hair, mimicking the girls he had dated._

_ "It would be so much more charming if you shut that mouth of yours."_

_ She stuck her tongue out. There was a comfortable pause before she spoke again. "How much longer do you think we will be best friends for, Malfoy?"_

_ He looked at her with an unfathomable expression. "Why are you asking me this?"_

_ "Just answer me." She looked down. She knew it was time. She finally had Draco all alone and she was fifteen now. She could get through this._

_ "Forever." He said, trying to catch her eye, but she didn't look at him. "What's wrong, Granger?"_

_ "Forever," She sighed. "Two years ago, my parents had a talk with me."_

_ "Okay?"_

_ "They-"She stopped, sucked in a breath. "Promise not to get angry. Promise me you'll think about that 'forever'."_

_ He nodded. "Promise."_

_ She continued. "They told me I wasn't their child. They had adopted me." She looked at him, but couldn't stand the look on his face so she stared at the bindings of her books on the shelf. "And not just from any orphanage. A muggleborn one. I'm a muggleborn, Draco. I've always been a muggleborn. I can't- I know it's hard for you to think that your best friend is a muggleborn, especially since you hate them, but-"_

_ Draco let out a laugh. "Oh, Granger, you have the worst jokes."_

_ Her heart sank. He hadn't understood and now she had to break it down for him. She shook her head. "It's not a joke. I really am born to muggles. I'm not a pureblood you thought I was."_

_ The humor drained from his face and he backed away from her like she was emitting poison into the air. "What. The hell. Are. You. Talking. About?" _

_ Hermione reached out for him, her eyes pleading. "Drakey-"_

_ "Don't call me that." His tone was so cold her heart clenched._

_ "Fine, Draco-"_

_ "You aren't worthy to say my name." He continued backing away. "Get away from me."_

_ "Malfoy, please just understand."_

_ "You knew. You _knew _and you didn't tell me. What happened to our fucking _forever_?" He spat._

_ "I knew you would react like this. I didn't want to lose you! I didn't want to lose my best friend." She stepped closer to him. "Please, Malfoy, we can still have our forever. If you would just look past your parents' teachings, you can see me for who I was before today."_

_ "You're _nothing._" Draco said, grabbing his broom. "Don't you dare try to ever talk to me again," He left through the window._

_ Hermione collapsed on her bed, her head hanging in sorrow. Once again, tears threatened the dam of her eyes, but she swallowed them back, refusing to succumb to weakness. How could it end up like this? Why couldn't he see that she was the same Hermione as before? Why did he have to treat her like a nobody when they both knew how important she was to him?_

_ She thought about the day her parents had told her. She wished that day had never occurred. She wished everything could have stayed the same. Forever._

0000000000

The next day was tiring, since Hermione had gotten only a few hours of sleep since she had been worrying about Draco. Breakfast went by in a flash, as did classes, and once more, she found herself in the library for hours on end.

Sick and tired of the beloved smell of the ancient books, she headed out onto the grounds for a walk. She strolled around the gardens before finding a bench to continue her book. She was almost done with part one and had enjoyed the pleasures of life the poor girls made the best of. Sometimes it reminded her of herself, since being muggleborn was nearly as devastating in society as poverty.

She heard leaves being crunched and looked up to see Draco walking to her. He had his usual smirk which grew once he saw the book she was holding.

"Reading muggle books now, are we?" he asked, sitting beside here, albeit keeping his distance.

"I'm surprised you recognized it, Malfoy." She said, avoiding his gaze by reading from her open page. She looked up at him though, remembering where she had seen him last night.

"Where did you go after curfew last night?" She asked, catching his steely gray gaze. For good measure, since she was still pondering the night before that, she added, "And the night before?"

He shrugged to feign indifference although she knew him well enough to see how his body tensed. "In my bed." He smirked at her. "I've got a girl who can vouch for me."

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Was that last night or the night before?"

"What if I said both?"

"I know you'd be lying." She said. "I saw you, last night on the seventh floor. What were you doing there?"

His demeanor changed immediately. Now there was no harsh humor or casualness. "None of your concern, Mudblood." He stood.

She spoke quickly, aware she was losing him. "What about the night before then? You wouldn't have any idea about how I ended up _obliviated_ of the night's memories?"

He smirked, but this time is was a cold, harsh smirk. Where was this Draco coming from? He had never looked at her like that before. "That was because you have an uncanny ability to find out things you don't need to know."

"What did I find out, Malfoy?" She clenched her teeth, frustrated with his Malfoy Mask.

"Obviously, you're daft. I just said it was something you don't need to know, meaning, I won't tell you since you don't have to know." He said, scoffing.

She sighed. "How long will it take you to understand that you can trust me? I'm the same Hermione from before, I'm no different!"

He laughed. "Oh the irony,"

"Of what?" she snapped.

"Of my answer, Granger. How long will it take me to trust you?" He leaned in close, his eyes trained on hers to convey his spite. "_Forever."_


	4. If You Want

_It was a party, one she couldn't remember the reason of, and at the Malfoy Manor. The adults milling about were all purebloods, high on the social ladder, and poised as social monarchies. Hermione winded her way through the crowd, trying to find Draco. Where on earth could that prat be hiding?_

_ Finally, she reached the edge of the group and quickly grabbed a glass and filled it up with juice. Taking a sip, she surveyed her surroundings. She spotted Draco across the room and set her nearly empty cup on the table, to avoid the bright red juice spilling onto her lavish lavender dress. Taking a deep breath, she began her fight through the people to reach Malfoy._

_ Once she found herself on the other side, she straightened her dress and approached her friend with a smile before realizing that he was talking to Daphne and Pansy. Her spirits dropped and she quickly rearranged her face into a more appropriate expression; pure nothingness._

_ Draco looked extremely bored to her opinion, but the two girls chatted relentlessly to him and he was amazing at feigning interest. His act was ended when he spotted her and broke out into a smirk. _

_ Hermione strutted forward and planted herself between Draco and Pansy. "Good evening," She said, a light smile gracing her face. "Parkinson, Greengrass," She nodded at each as she spoke. "Malfoy."_

_ He nodded back at her, but with a twinkle in his eye. "Evening, Granger," He looked her up and down. "What lovely attire you are dressed in," He winked at her. Loving this game, she kept up the act._

_ "Why thank you, dearest Draco. I had it imported from Vatican City. Isn't it the most glamorous you've ever seen?" She batted her eyelashes, mocking the pureblooded women most certainly doing this right behind her._

_ Pansy, completely clueless, nodded, albeit grudgingly. Her parents must have told her to be polite. "It's gorgeous. My parents only ever let me get things from Paris. Lucky you,"_

_ Hermione and Draco shared a look at the expense of Pansy's idiocy. Clearly, she was going to grow up to be no different from the adult women fawning over each other's more expensive dresses. It was like a constant competition to see who had paid the most and had the dress sent the farthest._

_ Daphne wasn't as dull though, for she knew what game they were playing at. "I think my dress is far more beautiful than yours. It's made from real Italian silk, and imported from Siberia!" She said, her face still the cool, collected rich girl, but Hermione could see the mischievous glint in her eye._

_ Draco laughed. "I think I've heard enough about dresses." He took Hermione's hand. "Shall we go visit Zabini and Nott?" _

_ She groaned. "If you insist."_

_ He pulled her along the edge of the party and up the swirling staircase until he found the door he was looking for and tugged her inside._

_ Blaise and Theo were in the room, lounging on the couches and sharing butterbeer. Draco collapsed on the loveseat, the only other available seat left. She strode over to where he was sitting and nudged his knee._

_ "Move over Malfoy." She said._

_ He looked up at her. "Why? Can't you just sit with Theo and Blaise on the threesome sofa?"_

_ She looked back him. "Really? Because I am not comfortable sitting with them in such close proximity. Just let me bloody sit down."_

_ "Ouch, that hurt Granger," Theo said, grinning._

_ Blaise grinned slyly. "Then why are you comfortable sitting with Draco? It's a damn loveseat for a reason. You wouldn't be embarrassed?"_

_ She rolled her eyes. "Please. I've known him longer, know he's so much more respectable than either of you, and he and I are not involved in that way so why should I be bloody embarrassed about nothing?"_

_ Draco snorted at this. He moved over though and that's all Hermione cared about._

_ She glanced over at the disgruntled blonde. "What's the matter?"_

_ "Nothing. Just the fact that you have been implying for years that I have an undeniable crush on you and then when someone mentions that sitting together would make us seem like a couple, you completely deny the fact."_

_ Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"_

_ He glared at her. "Of course." He leaned towards her and a smirk graced his lips. "You know you love me."_

_ "Over my dead body," She joked. But seeing he was serious she looked over at his friends. They were watching with wide eyes as if they were some romance film. She lowered her voice. "Are you serious?" She repeated._

_ He shrugged, his grey eyes reverting from her to the boys. "If you want it to be. I understand if you wouldn't want to be together like that." He flashed a smile, one so full of emotion._

_ She pondered the situation. She knew she loved Draco, but she had always thought of it as friendship, like Harry or Ron or Ginny. Never had she ever _actually _thought about dating Draco. The love, she decided, wasn't the love he wanted, it was friendship. But what kind of love didn't start off as a friendship? Why wouldn't she give him a chance?_

_ Because, her mind whispered, you know once he finds out about your blood status, he'll leave you the next second._

_ She swallowed, glancing at the white-blonde in question. She did know that Draco would freak about it, but she had never allowed herself to think about what would happen if he decided she wasn't worth the trouble. Being his girlfriend could insure he would stay with her longer, if only to make their break up more hurtful, but she knew she could never use him that way. _

_ "Draco," She began, making up her mind. "I would prefer it if we stayed friends." She looked away to avoid seeing the look in his eyes. "I don't think I love you that way,"_

_ He nodded. "I understand." He turned back to Theo and Blaise. "Well, why don't we have some fun? Pass the butterbeer," Theo tossed him the bottle and he chugged some down before offering it to Hermione._

_ She grinned, but shook her head. "I should get going. My parents have something early in the morning and so they're leaving early."_

_ "Why don't you stay then?" Blaise asked, snatching the bottle back._

_ "My mother doesn't trust you boys to stay with me," She smirked. "Well, the night is still young, so enjoy!" She stepped out and shut the door on their protests before quickly merging into the crowd and finding her parents._

_ As they stepped into the fireplace, Hermione looked up onto the balcony and saw Draco there, watching her. She smiled and waved before throwing the Floo powder in and shouting out the name of her home and disappearing._

00000000000

Her talk with Draco in the gardens had left an irritating voice in her head, one that was constantly arguing with her mind. It kept telling her she was the one being unfair, that she had left Draco behind when she became so involved with Harry and Ron and hiding that she was a muggle-born from him. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. It wasn't her fault. It couldn't be. She wasn't the one who had abandoned someone in their time of need.

_Oh, so now you say Harry and Ron and Ginny weren't enough. What did you say when you had Draco? _The voice sneered.

_I never said that Harry and Ron were enough! I needed Draco as much as I needed my other friends. _She protested. It couldn't be. She wasn't like that. Hermione Granger was a very caring person in situations regarding others' feelings. She wouldn't have been so careless with Draco. Could she?

Reaching the castle, she stepped into the warmth and relaxed when she entered the common room. Harry and Ron were playing a game of Wizards' chess on the floor, Ron very obviously in the lead.

She smiled at them and their normalcy. "Did you finish your essays yet?" This was her own attempt at normal life.

They shared guilty looks and Harry answered her bashfully. "Not quite, 'Mione. We wanted to take a break before continuing."

She sighed and nodded; only half listening as she rubbed her face of tiredness. Hermione collapsed on the sofa and closed her eyes.

Ron spoke with concern laced in his voice. "Are you alright, 'Mione?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's just," Harry said, sharing another glance with Ron. "You would normally reprimand us on our neglecting our homework. And things seem to be stressing you out." He looked at Ron with a question in his eyes. Ron nodded. "And, we saw Malfoy storming past in the hallway. Only one person could have riled him up like that."

She sighed. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. I'm just a little… worried, that's all."

"Worried? Why?" Ron said.

She opened her eyes and looked at her best friends. "I have a feeling Draco's got something to do with Voldemort. He- he didn't want me to look at his arm, and he's very obviously hiding something." She paused. "And I saw him on the seventh floor after curfew the other day, and the only place I can think of there is the Room of Requirement."

Harry sat up. "You mean to say he's doing something in there?"

She nodded, looking away, trying to ignore the feeling of betrayal in her heart. _I have to do this. Helping Harry defeat Voldemort is the most important thing there is._ She convinced herself. If that meant exposing secrets of Draco's, so be it.

"That-that ferret! I always knew he was up to something!" Ron sputtered. He looked at Hermione. "Don't worry, 'Mione, we'll find out what he's doing."

She managed a weak smile before getting up and heading for her bed. "I'm tired, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Harry nodded and Ron smiled at her, before returning to their game of chess. As she reached the door of her bedroom, she heard Ron shout with glee. She smiled. So he'd won again.

0000000000

The next day throughout the morning, she avoided crossing paths with Draco, so she wouldn't have to see his cold face and stony smirk. Even before, that was enough to drive her crazy. The way he would act all calm and emotionless even though she knew that he was screaming inside. There wasn't a reason to hide his feelings from her, if he actually considered her a friend.

At lunch, she had accidently glanced over at the Slytherin table and to her horror had caught his gaze as he looked up too. She scowled at him before spinning to the side to talk to Ginny. She could almost feel his sneer burning in to the side of her face and she purposely dangled her hair in his view to obscure her expression; one blushing furiously.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Ginny asked. She reached out a hand to touch her forehead. "You look like you've got a fever. But your head feels fine. Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."

Hermione smiled, grateful for her concern. "I feel fine, Ginny."

Ginny shook her head. "Mum says you can never be too careful and that means you will be going to visit Madam Pomfrey this instant."

Hermione let out a light laugh and stood up. "Alright." She stepped out of the hall and traveled quietly down the corridor. Hearing more footsteps behind her, she spun around to see Draco.

She sighed, turning her head away to look at the wall. "Why do you keep insisting on seeing me everywhere? Can I not have a few bloody moments to myself?"

He shrugged, a half-developed smirk sitting on his lips. "I just can't get enough of Mudblood."

She scoffed before turning her back on him to continue walking. "Is that supposed to mean you're infatuated with my muggle- born blood status?"

He caught up with her, walking slightly behind to the left. "If you want it to be."

She sucked in a breath, her heart clenching. He couldn't possibly know that was the dream she was having that night. "I'm not sure what I want anymore. But I _am_ sure that I am tired of you and I want some freaking alone time- by myself."

She quickened her steps, trying to distance herself with the boy following her. As his steps grew quicker, she broke into a run, turning the corner, trying to get away, but she could hear his breaths getting closer and his footsteps getting louder. Suddenly she was pulled to a stop and slammed against the wall, her head aching from the impact.

Once her head cleared, she struggled, careful to keep her head leaned forward to keep from hitting it again. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Malfoy?" She pushed at his chest, but could barely fit her arms up since his body was pressed up against hers.

"I don't know." Then he swooped down and put his lips on hers, suckling her skin and urging her to respond. Her eyes widened and she froze, her arms finally caught by his hands and trapped against the wall. His lips moved and she tried not to like it and when she felt his tongue, trying to slip in, she bit down hard and he pulled away holding his mouth as he let her arms loose.

She wiped her mouth and felt tears in the corners of her eyes. She sucked them back so he wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing her cry. She whipped out her wand and aimed it at him, her hand shaking. "What. Was. That?" She panted.

He was still holding his tongue, and he licked around the inside of his mouth before trying to speak. "I was just bloody kissing you. You let me do it all the time before."

It hurt her to hear him say that, like she was just like the girls he'd date for about 24 hours and then snog another one. Like she wasn't important to him before. Like she wasn't important to him now. But if she was really just a girl to kiss every so often, why did he constantly run into her? At this point, she didn't exactly think this was just a coincidence.

"I let you kiss me because I _thought_ you liked me. I thought we were becoming something more than just simple friends." She spat, wiping her mouth again. "But it looks like my brain has been doing its bad habit of over thinking things, like you always tell me I do."

His eyes flashed with something like pain. But then his face hardened and his sneer put back in place. "You were the one that rejected me. You didn't want more."

"I wasn't ready. We were so young!" She narrowed her eyes. "And besides, you still would have left me when I told you. It was only a matter of time. I just wanted to make it less painful for the both of us."

His expression softened, now the pure pain seeping in. He stepped closer to her but she stepped back, down the hall. He halted his steps when he saw this. He looked into her eyes. "There wasn't a choice, Hermione."

"What do you mean? There's always a choice. You chose to follow your parents' beliefs." She stepped back again.

"There was never a choice. You don't know anything. My father- he was too involved in Voldemort's plans. One slip of loyalty and my family dies. Staying friends with you and- and even being a couple with you would have been such a bad image, my mother and my father and I would have been dead in an instant. Your heritage was going to get out. There was no way of hiding it. So I had to blow up at you, throw you away like you were nothing. Even then, Voldemort tortured us for days, trying to make sure we didn't have any ties left with you." Draco said, his eyes pleading, his voice begging. "I didn't want to hurt you. There was no choice."

Hermione stopped moving backwards. She hesitated before she spoke. "There's always a choice." Before Draco could groan with anger and frustration, she added. "Your choice was friend or family." She stepped forward, pulling Draco's hands into hers. "I'm so proud of you for choosing family." She whispered, leaning her head on his chest and hugging him tightly.

She could feel him tense and relax, then his hands lifting her head up and his lips crashing down on hers. She smiled into his lips and moved her mouth along with him. He groaned into her mouth before breaking their kiss and hugging her close and digging his nose into her hair to smell her sweet fragrance.

"I missed you." She said, stroking his back.

"I missed you too." He pulled away, looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday."

Her jaw dropped. "Draco Malfoy is apologizing to me?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Fine. I forgive you." She pulled him in for another hug.

He still held her out after a few moments.

"Now what?" She groaned.

"Nothing in our normal life changes. If any of my friends suspects we made up or any one suspects anything at all, my family dies. So I'm afraid I'll still have to torment you every day." His gray eyes were hard and his smile was gone.

She smiled at him, cupping his cheek. It was an understanding smile. Why did she have to be so accepting of everything? Didn't she know that being so understanding just made him love her even more? "I know. Family always comes first, Draco. Never forget that."


	5. Anything

_ "You bloody ferret!" Ron roared, lunging at the blond boy. "I'll get you!"_

_ Hermione stepped backwards, her face the picture of horror at what was happening. They had just started the new school year and Draco had already tormented them to anger and fighting. What did she even expect? That Draco would keep his promise from before, when they were friends, that he would try his best to leave her friends alone? That he would do that when they weren't friends anymore?_

_ She let out a strangled cry when the two boys collided and were rolling on the ground throwing punches. She rushed forward and pulled on the two. "Stop it! You'll hurt each other!"_

_ "But 'Mione! He was making fun of you! You can't forgive him for that!" Ron yelled, grunting when Malfoy socked him in the stomach._

_ "She was looking for that!" The blonde boy hissed, throwing another punch at Ron's face. But the ginger dodged and butted his head into Malfoy's stomach._

_ "Just stop it already! You are bloody respectable wizards! Why are you fighting like vermin?" She shrieked, pulling back hard on the boys' shoulders. _

_ "I may be a respectable wizard, but this Weasel here sure isn't!" Draco sneered, wiping the blood from his face when Hermione finally managed to pull them apart. Ron lunged at him again, but she held him back. She glared at the blonde boy._

_ "If I had to describe you with one word, Draco Malfoy, it wouldn't exactly be respectable." She spat, turning Ron around to help him limp to the infirmary. _

_ "Go ahead and run, Mudblood!" She heard the boy sneer behind her. Her heart clenched when she heard him say that, but she shrugged it off to continue her walk._

_ Ron stopped though, his eyes pleading with her. "Please let me go punch the daylights out of that pompous git. He made fun of you and he's insulting you and I can't just let it slide by."_

_ She shook her head, throwing a sharp glance at the white-blond. "He's not worth it." She said loudly, purposely flinging her voice out to Malfoy. "He's not worth _anything_." She turned before she could see the look of pain on the boy's face._

0000000000

"Where's Weasel and the Mudblood going now?"

Hermione's jaw clenched and her face scrunched up. But she calmed herself, rearranging her face to appear emotionless, or at least angry. She spun around and threw a look of hatred at the posse surrounding Draco. It was Blaise and Theo and Pansy. Her heart softened at seeing the boys, but she couldn't let that show.

"Is there a problem?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or did you just decide to ruin a perfectly good day?"

Blaise and Theo looked slightly amused by this, since they had never really shown hatred to Hermione when they were by themselves. Pansy, however, was infuriated.

"You're a Mudblood! You can't talk to us Purebloods like that! You filth!" Pansy sneered, a look of disgust painted on her face. Ron took a step forward, but Hermione pulled him back.

Hermione rolled her eyes. This first meeting with Draco after last night was really going exactly how she imagined it- nothing unusual. She gave a mock curtsy and a smirk. "My deepest apologies, Mistress Pansy, I have overstepped my boundaries of being a Mudblood." She dropped the act with a broad smile. "That better?"

Pansy looked as if she was at a loss for words. "I-" She looked at Draco, but Draco was looking rather bored, even paying attention to the birds flying outside. "Fine." She sniffed and lifted her chin. "Whatever, just get out of my way."

"Gladly," Ron said, pulling Hermione along behind him as he stormed down the hall. She threw a smile and a wave backwards just to anger Pansy and it worked. Immediately, Pansy's face formed a pout and she looked at Draco.

"Drakey-"

Draco looked at her with a stony expression. "Don't call me that. Ever."

Pansy pouted even more. "Draco, do something about the stupid mudblood!"

He snorted. "You were asking for it." He stepped out of her grasp and continued walking. "I'm not in the mood for Mudblood theatrics."

Blaise let out a chuckle and Theo tried to suppress a grin. Pansy threw them a dirty look before running to catch up to Draco.

The two boys stayed behind, looking thoughtfully down the hall where Hermione and Ron had gone down.

"Don't you think Hermione's different today?" Theo asked.

"Yeah. Like she's happier or something."Blaise agreed. "But why? It's not like anything good happened."

Theo's expression changed into one of understanding after thinking really hard. "That depends on what you call 'anything'." He said, smirking a little. Draco would kill him if he knew Theo had seen him and Hermione last night. He hadn't caught what had happened beforehand, but he did see them walking away from each other without evident anger or annoyance, meaning they hadn't actually fought. For once.

Blaise was oblivious though, and Theo had decided that was best until he found out what Draco wanted.

"What do you mean?" Blaise asked, as the two walked down the hall to get some lunch.

"Nothing," Theo teased, enjoying holding what he knew over Blaise. "It's a secret."

"You know I hate secrets." Blaise groaned.

"Too bad, you'll just have to live with it."

0000000000

_"What do you want for Christmas?" Draco asked, holding the hand of Hermione while they walked around the pond on the back of her property._

_ She shrugged, leaning down to pick up a dandelion. "Anything."_

_ He turned irritated. "What does anything mean? Jewelry? A dress? Shoes?"_

_ She turned a scathing look on him, tugging her hand out of his grasp. "You think I would want the things all your girlfriends want?"_

_ He smirked. "You are a girl after all. I've heard they all think alike." He enjoyed seeing her angry and flustered. It was even better when she was defending her gender._

_ "Women don't all think alike!" She protested, her face flushing. "Every woman has her own thoughts and opinions, like normal humans! Everyone has their own unique feelings and thinkings and ways of life that may not ever be the same as another person. Why do you think so many pairs don't work out? They _think _differently! They feel things differently! They can't understand the way the other is thinking because their own brain is thinking something else, something different. One might believe in world peace and freedom for house elves while the other might believe in lies and racism!" She stopped abruptly, realizing she was hitting far too close to home. She looked away from Draco so she wouldn't have to see his stormy grey eyes._

_ Surprisingly, he was calm. "Alright, alright, just calm down will you?" He said, resting a hand on her arm. She glanced at it and then at his face. He had a slight smile and it was beautiful._

_ She smiled at him. "Alright." They continued walking in comfortable silence._

_ "So, what would you like for Christmas?" Draco said._

_ She twirled the old seeded dandelion. The fluffy white wings of the seeds were wavering, as if deciding to fly away or stay home. "I don't know"_

_ He sighed. "Just tell me something so I won't feel bad for not getting you something you want."_

_ She looked at him with amusement. "The great Draco Malfoy would feel bad about not getting me a present? I'm honored."_

_ He rolled his eyes. "Really? Anyway, just say the word. Anything. I'll get you anything you want."_

_ She thought for a moment. "Anything?"_

_ He nodded._

_ "I want…" She gazed at her dandelion, which was slowly losing seeds as they walked. "I want a night with you, just one night out, for dinner and fun." She looked at him "Just the two of us."_

_ He shrugged. "Alright." he flashed a smirk. "For you."_

_ She smiled and lifted the dandelion. She blew on it and sent the white feathers floating through the fall breeze upwards and sideways and all around._

_ "You didn't make a wish?' He spoke lowly, his voice beside her ear. She jumped, startled at finding him so close before she relaxed._

_ "I wouldn't think a Malfoy would believe in making wishes." She said, leaning her head back on his chest to look at him._

_ He smirked. "Malfoy's don't make wishes, they make them come true." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips softly and her eyes closed in bliss. When he pulled away, she kept her eyes closed for a moment longer before stepping away and opening them. _

_ "What-What was that?" She asked. _

_ "A kiss." He responded._

_ "I know very well it was a kiss Draco Malfoy, what I don't know is why you kissed me."She said, her voice laced with hurt. "I thought I made it very clear that I don't want a relationship with you."_

_ He hardened his facial features and stood up tall. "You didn't exactly fight back."_

_ "Well I am now!" Her eyes flashed with anger._

_ He deflated and it pained her to see his strong façade melt away. No matter how angry she was with him, whenever he showed his weak side, she always gave in. She tried to convince herself that she only did it because she wanted to encourage him opening up to others, but she felt like it was more because she cared for him too much and couldn't stand to see him so vulnerable._

_ "I thought you- nevermind." He turned away from her and was walking back to the house. She hurried to keep up with him._

_ "Draco, I'm sorry," She murmured, touching his arm. He stiffened before relaxing._

_ "It's fine."_

_ "No, it isn't. Now you're unhappy, and I have to make you happy again." She pouted, trying to make him laugh like he always did over her comforting actions._

_ He rolled his eyes. Hermione wasn't annoyed by this like she normally is, in fact, she was ecstatic that he was acting normal again. "Bloody Gryffindors." he muttered._

_ "Well, I'll do _anything _to make you happy. So choose." She said, looping her arm around his._

_ "Anything?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow suggestively._

_ She flushed and slapped his arm. "Anything but the disgusting things going through your mind right now."_

_ "Fine," He said. "Anything."_

_ "Else." She added._

000000000

The day was going great since she had spent the weekend with her friends outside as they practiced Quidditch and she watched in amusement. Ginny was circling Ron and Harry in the air as they coached her on flying. Hermione could hear their laughter falling down to her and she smiled before turning back to her book.

"You're still not done?" She heard a voice over her shoulder.

Surprised, she turned and was shocked to see Draco sitting there. She looked up to make sure her friends weren't looking down and turned a sharp glance towards the blond. "What are you doing here?" She whispered. "If they see you, I can't promise what their reactions will be."

He shrugged, throwing her a rugged smirk. "Like I care." He leaned back and crossed his legs with his arms folded behind his head. "I was tired of Pansy and her theatrics and decided to get some fresh air. Spotted you Gryffindors out here and decided to see you."

She gave a soft smile. "That's nice of you Draco, but anyone can see you out here with me and that wouldn't end well."

He sighed, standing up. "Well then, I'll get going." He looked at her over his shoulder as he walked down the steps. "Meet me at 10, Astronomy Tower?"

She hesitated. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea…"

He looked at her with his soul bared. "Please? We can do anything you want."

She smiled lightly and lifted an eyebrow jokingly. "Anything?"

He nodded with a smirk.

"Alright. 10. Don't be late." She said, looking up at the sky. She heard his footsteps fade away before she sighed and started on her book again. Why was she doing this to herself and Draco? Her rational mind knew nothing would come out of this and having meetings would just wound them even more when they finally realize they could never be together.

She sighed again, angry with herself for getting Draco's hopes up. She had never been able to say no to his soft side. But she guessed she would have to that day. There was no way she would let herself go to the Astronomy Tower just so she could hurt Draco and herself even more. No way.

0000000000

It was 10, and Hermione was sprawled in bed, trying to stop imagining Draco's pained expression when he would realize that she didn't show up. She turned onto her side, stuffing her face into her pillow to keep in the strangled noises she kept making. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Draco with his hurt grey eyes and his clenched fists and the way he would try to hide his pain even when no one was even watching. She couldn't even imagine the anger he would feel the next day when she met him again.

Enough! She scolded herself. What's done is done and she can't do anything to change it. She might as well sleep since she can't do anything else. Slowly, she drifted into a restless sleep. She dreamed of gray eyes and white snow, melting like tears.

0000000000

She woke up early in the morning and got dressed quickly to beat the crowd to breakfast. Stuffing her wand into her pocket, she grabbed her book bag and treaded softly down the hallway to the Great Hall. Sitting down, she spotted Ginny and Harry coming in from the hallway and waved them over.

"Morning, 'Mione. I hope you slept well." Ginny said, taking a seat across from her. Harry sat beside Ginny. Rather closely, Hermione noticed.

She faked a smile, thankful she had remembered to cast a charm to hide the dark bags under her eyes. "Splendidly. How about you two?"

"Great." Harry said, spooning food onto his plate. "Ginny, you want some of this?" The redhead smiled and nodded, handing Harry her plate. She thanked him with a kiss on the cheek and Hermione smiled. It always made her happy when Harry and Ginny were so loving to each other.

But turning her head, she spotted a splotch of blonde hair swagger in with a trailing of black and dark brown hair. Draco. No. She could not deal with him this early in the morning. So she ate as quickly as she could before excusing herself and running out the doors to the library. She shut the heavy doors behind her, blocking out the buzz and roar of the student body.

Suddenly, she was shoved against the wall, and she felt a hard body pressed up on her front and arms firm hands stationed on her hips. Looking up, she watched the blonde hair fall in wisps in front of his stormy grey eyes.

"What do you want, Draco?" She whispered loudly, trying to keep her voice down, to avoid catching unwanted attention. She could feel her head aching again, and she would really feel much better if she could just take a break from the head concussions.

"You didn't show up last night." It wasn't a question. It was a fact, clear and true, but with an accusation lingering in the aftertaste.

"I know," She murmured. She turned her head to the side.

"Why?" This was spoken quietly, almost too soft for Hermione to catch.

"I'm sorry," Was all she could say before pushing him away. He tightened his hold on her waist and ignored her struggling.

"Why?" He repeated, pushing down on her. She cried out when his grip tightened, probably causing bruises to form.

"I didn't want to hurt you." She whimpered, causing him to stop and relax his hands slightly.

"And you thought showing me up would make me less hurt?" He whispered, his mouth by her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"I'm sorry." Was all she could say. "We shouldn't do this. Just go back to the way we were before. Just-"

She was interrupted by his lips, crashing down on her, smothering the flame she was about to blow at him.

"Stop." He murmured, pressing his forehead against hers. "Please."

She shook her head. "Malfoy-" His hands tightened. "-we can't do this. _I _can't do this. I hate hiding, and you know that we can't go in the open. There's too much at stake."

"So you are willing to shove me aside?"

"No. I'm not willing, but I have to. There isn't a choice here Draco, no matter what you say." She pushed him away and this time, he let her.

"'There's always a choice.'" he mimicked bitterly. "What bullshit that was." He softened and reached out to touch her face. "There is a choice. And you _can _choose me."

She shook her head, willing her tears back. "Stop it. Stop twisting my words and making me give into you. I can't live like that, Draco, you should know! I'm too independent, and you making my choices for me is going to kill me." She spun around and stalked into the library. Breathlessly, she noted that Draco hadn't followed her. She wondered if he would ever come around, and realize she was right.

They couldn't win this together. It was either separation or death. And she couldn't die before saving the wizarding world with Harry. At least, not unless she could help it.


	6. Nothing

_"Hermione!" Her mother's voice was distressed, carrying up the stairs of their home._

_ "Yeah?" Hermione sprang off her bed and rushed down the stairs. Normally she would go slowly, but something in her mom's voice told her it was important. "What is it? What's wrong?"_

_ "It's Snuggles. He's horribly sick." She watched her mother cradle the tabby cat in her arms, kneeling on the carpet of the room. Her mom looked up at her with glistening eyes. "Oh, honey, I think he's going."_

_ Hermione kneeled beside her mother carefully, handling the soft and frail cat with caution. Watching her beloved animal cough weakly and mewl in pain made tears prickle her eyes. She hugged him close, her tears making his coat of fur damp. Snuggles groaned, and Hermione stood up. "Come on, let's bring him to the vet."_

_ "Alright. You go first."_

_ Hermione lifted her wand and apparated to the vet office, hurrying the tabby into the examining room. _

_ The animal doctors rushed around the room, injecting the feeble cat with drugs and medicine, checking his pulse, his breathing, getting organ x-rays with their advanced magic._

_ "Well?" Hermione's mother appeared behind her. "How is he?"_

_ "I don't know. The doctors aren't telling me anything." She buried her face in her mother's shoulder. "He's dying, isn't he?"_

_ "You never know."_

_ She looked up, surprised to see Draco behind her mother. "What- How are you here?"_

_ "Draco had come over after you had left, I just brought him along, figuring you would need the comfort." Her mother smiled softly, patting her daughter's back. "I'll go ask the doctor's what's going on and you can have a chat with Draco." She stepped away, into the room of flurry._

_ Hermione sat in one of the chairs. Draco took a seat beside her. They sat in silence for a moment._

_ "How are you?" Draco asked._

_ She hesitated. "I'm… I'm fine. Snuggles obviously isn't. And I guess that makes me _not_ fine."_

_ Draco looked around awkwardly. "Would you- uh, like to use my shoulder for mourning purposes?"_

_ "Why would I be mourning already?" Her voice was panicky. "You think he'll die?"_

_ "No! I just meant that you, uh, looked sad, and maybe crying it out would help." Draco looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean that Snuggles would surely die."_

_ She relaxed. "I'm just jumpy, you know?"_

_ He nodded. She leaned her head on his shoulder, looping one arm through his. "Thanks," She whispered, closing her eyes._

_ The door burst open and her mother stepped out, a distressed look on her face. "Hermione?"_

_ "Yeah?" The brunette lifted her head._

_ "Snuggles is on life support right now. The doctors say he only has a day or two left. They want to know whether we would like to continue his life, or let him go now."_

_ She sighed. "Letting him go now would make it less painful for him?"_

_ "Not necessarily. They will have numbed him, so he won't feel anything, and will most likely be unconscious for the most of these few days. Letting him go now wouldn't be that painful either, since he is already on a numbing period now." Her mother kneeled in front of her daughter. "What do you want?"_

_ Hermione closed her eyes. "Is it selfish to want to keep him? To make him suffer more days just so I can feel him breathe again?"_

_ Her mother shook her head. "Not at all, 'Mione. He won't suffer. He won't feel any pain. I'm just worried about how you'll feel; the pain you'll feel."_

_ "I… just let him go. I don't want to see this. I want to go home." She whispered. Her mother nodded and told the doctors to take Snuggles off of life support. _

_ "Draco, dear, could you take Hermione home to sleep?" Her mother smoothed her daughter's hair._

_ Draco nodded and lifted his friend up and apparated._

_ She took a sleeping potion and went to sleep almost immediately. After hours, she woke up, her eyes heavy and a dull pain in her head._

_ "Draco?"_

_ "I'm here."_

_ "He's gone?"_

_ There was silence. She sighed and closed her eyes. She felt her heart clench, the unbearable pain. She had lost part of herself with the poor tabby and now she felt empty inside._

_ She felt the pain and sorrow and horrible longing. But most of all, after minutes of crying, all she felt was nothing. Like her emotions had been wiped, taken away with the spirit of her cat. She had nothing left over. _

_ Just. Nothing._

0000000000

"Hermione?"

She shook her head, clearing her muddled thoughts before looking up at Ginny. "Yes?"

"You've been staring at the same page in your book for the past hour." She sat down beside the brunette. "What's wrong?"

"I just…" She sighed. "I don't even know, Ginny. It's Draco. He's killing me inside my own head. I can't do anything without feeling guilty about him. What am I even guilty for? We knew it would never happen, that it was just wishful thinking; that we could be together in this torn up world."

Ginny was silent for a moment. "Maybe you still think there is a chance. That's why you feel bad about it, since you think that you rejected him when there was a chance you could be together, and you closed that door."

"But there wasn't. I know that. His family- it's too important to him and I can't even blame him for that since I know I would do the same too. And Harry and the problem of Voldemort, I can't back out on it, since that is the only hope for the world." Hermione ran a hand through her tangle hair.

"I don't know what to tell you, 'Mione. Some things you just have to live it out." Ginny said, patting her friend's back. "I'm sure your brilliant mind will figure something out. Just make sure your heart has its say too."

She gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Ginny. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I'm sure you'd be brilliant; just like you are now. All I've done is given you the pushes you need to show your brilliance." Ginny smiled. "Hogsmeade weekend. Want to go with me?"

"Sure. I already finished the homework for the weekend." Hermione smiled.

Ginny gave a light laugh. "Of course. Well, I want to go visit this one store…." The two girls chatted about their list of stores to hit and what they wanted to buy. "'Mione. You totally need to go shopping for clothes with me."

Hermione shook her head. "No way. You'd make me get things I can't wear in public for embarrassment, and I would never be able to make any fashionable statement. Let's just leave the shopping for clothes for you." She laughed.

"Fine. Go to sleep okay? You can get up early then," Ginny stood up and pulled Hermione up too. "And we'll leave in the morning."

"I will." She said, packing her books into her bag.

Ginny gives a nod and walks away.

Hermione sighed and raked a hand through her hair. This situation with Draco was getting out of hand. It was interfering with her studies and the time she reserved for her friends. She wished nothing had changed, and that Draco had either _never_ been her friend, or that she had never found out about her blood status.

She walked slowly through the halls, unhurried, since it was rather early at night for her to be heading back to the dorms.

"Granger."

She turned to the blonde and heaved a sigh. "What?"

He walked up to her and followed her as she started walking again. "Nothing really. Just decided to annoy you." He had a smirk on, but to her, it looked half-hearted.

"Malfoy," She warned. "I told you to just let it go and go back to the tormenting. Not to kid about these things."

"I'm not kidding." He said. "Is my act of normalcy not good enough?"

She huffed and sped up. It was no use, since his much longer legs were faster and capable of catching up to her. "What are you still here for? Did you not understand my very obvious statements that were along the lines of 'I don't want you close to me, ever'?"

"I understood them. I just don't want to comply with them." he smirked at her frustration. "Besides, why should I listen to a Mudblood?"

"That's better," She said, rolling her eyes. "Back to the insults. We're definitely making progress here. Next up should be you sodding the hell off."

"Vulgar language is not becoming of you, Granger." The boy said.

"I really do not need you to reprimand me about my language. I could say the same to you. Now, leave."

He pushed her against the wall, his face close, and his eyes soft. "Do you really want me to leave you alone, Hermione?"

She breathed in sharply when he pressed against her. His white-blonde hair falling across his face, for once not gelled together, and his nose buried in her hair. His eyes were so deep, so soft and vulnerable, and she wanted to-

No. She would not give in to his 'soft' side anymore. That was something that always got her into even deeper trouble, and she didn't want any trouble that involved one Draco Malfoy.

"Yes, I do." She whispered. Then she shoved him away and continued walking, her knuckles white from gripping the strap of her book bag tightly. She didn't hear his footsteps following her and took that as a sign she could relax and let out a sigh.

She didn't have time for Draco's ridiculously childish acts. She needed to get her head in the game, and do some serious research on Horcruxes. Malfoy was _not _helping her get anything done at all.

She needed to wrap Draco Malfoy up into a tiny ball, a small, light-weight gray ball to tuck into the very back of her mind and keep from distracting her. She needed him to be nonexistent, a nothing. She folded the very idea of him in two, then three, and four, and five, and six, and eight, and nine, and on and on and on until he was no larger than a speck of dust in the corner of her vision of the world. She pushed and shoved him into the darkest recess of her mind, to keep him away and with him, all her troubles too.

And it was done, as she murmured the Gryffindor dorms password and stepped within the warm comfort of the heated room. Draco Malfoy was no more in the mind of Hermione Granger. He was nothing.

0000000000

_Everyone though that Hermione Granger was a prude, a girl who never had a boyfriend. But they're all wrong. She did have a boyfriend, at least in the fourth year, she did. It was during the summer, and she had met him in Diagon Alley, and had bumped into each other. They had both apologized profusely, and ended up getting a drink together to apologize._

_ She remembered that he was the nicest person she had every met, like Neville; just always kind no matter how clumsy it seemed. She loved spending her days with him, even when she lied to her parents (yes lied) to sneak out to see him. She said she was going to see Drac;, Draco knew about her boyfriend, and helped her._

_ She had been happy, and to her, he had to. But then she found him kissing another girl. The girl had been gorgeous and jealousy immediately sparked in her. She had screamed at him and yelled and even ran up to slap him across his face before turning and leaving abruptly. _

_ He had tried to talk to her afterwards, but after Draco had found out, he had sought him out and hexed him into leaving her alone. _

_ She sat on the bank of the lake behind her house, feet dangling mindlessly into the clear water. She heard footsteps behind her and watched as Draco lowered himself down next to her._

_ "What are you thinking about?" He asked._

_ She sighed, looking back into the water and up at the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. For a moment she wanted to tell him, but from his pained expression- as if he really hated having to care about her feelings- she decided it was best that she kept her thoughts to herself. After all, she _was _thinking about her ex-boyfriend and Draco never seemed like he enjoyed the mention of him._

_ "Nothing," She said. Draco let out a sigh and opened his mouth like he was going to say something and left it there for a few lingering seconds. Hermione watched him, hopeful he would care for real, for once, and ask her about how she _really _felt. That he would call her out on this lie. But then the moment passed and him mouth shut, a resolved look crossing his face in a quick flurry._

_ "You free this weekend?" Was what he asked her, and she turned away in crushing disappointment. He hadn't asked; he was no different from the other "friends" she had had before. Then she shook her mind clear of the thoughts. It wasn't fair to Draco that way. He was a great friend, albeit arrogant and selfish, but she really couldn't expect him to suddenly care about how she felt over a breakup. _

_ It wasn't fair of him to ask her in the first place though, but Hermione knew what he was doing. People ask about your troubles to feel as if they were comforting, useful, to you, and act as if they want to help you. But no one _really _wants to know how you feel and what you're thinking about. In their mind, just asking you is doing you a great service, and then they have gotten over with the "guilt" they have for not actually caring. Sure, if you said something was really wrong, they would inquire more about it, comfort you with plastic-y words and faux sympathy. But when you say "nothing" they don't see the real pain behind it, the real sorrow and anger behind your words, even as they are mumbled past your lips, frozen with sadness, even as they sit in the dead silence between you two and even as they seep into their ears and into their brains, engraving them in. _

_ You hope they will hear it, and come to your rescue, to comfort you in your times of darkness, to be your savior from the dark recesses of your mind, which twist reality so everything seems like your fault._

_ But they never will, unless they have gone through it; experienced your real pain. Draco hasn't. He's always been the one to do the kissing, do the dumping; doing whatever that ends a relationship. He's never had the short end of the stick. _

_ So she forgave him for not decoding the sorrow laced in her soft words._

_ "Yeah. Why?" She said. As if nothing had just happened between them, as if nothing had just gone racing through her mind in the few seconds she took to answer his question. Because that was always the safest route when something happens. Pretend it was nothing. Nothing._

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"Hermione!"

The brunette groaned, shifting in her sleep.

There was another sharp whisper, accompanied with a jab in the sleeping girl's side. This time, Hermione opened her eyes and shot up with a string of expletives hanging on her tongue. But she paused when she saw it was just Ginny, sitting on the edge of her bed, all dressed and prepped with makeup and stylish clothing.

"Gin-"

Ginny hushed her with a fierce finger slammed against her lips. She leaned in to whisper softly. "Everyone else is still sleeping. Keep quiet."

Hermione glanced around the room, her eyes grazing over the other girls in the dorm room with her. She whispered as well. "Then why are we up and talking?" Even in her whisper, she had a dash of sharpness.

Ginny grinned. "Well, so we can beat the crowds to Hogsmeade. Duh." She grabbed her friend's wrist and pulled her out of the covers. "Come on. You've got to get dressed."

Hermione sighed and pulled on a comfortable long-sleeved shirt and zipped up a fleece before pulling up blue jeans and black boots. Ginny was rummaging in her jewelry box- even though there was only at most five things, so what could she possibly be taking so long with?- and she let out a small gasp.

Ginny held up a thin silver chain with a sleek silver snake coiled around a glistening ruby. Seeing the necklace made her throat go dry. It was the one Draco had given her, the one he had said was too Slytherin and she had said was Gryffindor enough with that beautiful ruby.

"Where's this from?" Ginny quietly demanded. "I'm the only one that ever gets you jewelry. Did you buy it yourself?"

Hermione swallowed. It was true. All her trinkets were from Ginny, since neither Ron nor Harry dared to offend her with them. But she didn't want to tell her it was from Draco. She was afraid it would lead to more heartache and she wasn't ready for that so early in the morning. But she couldn't lie either. "It's a gift."

"From who? Why would someone give you something so, so _Slytherin_?" Ginny asked. Hermione felt her face heat up and she turned her head away. Then Ginny's eyes widened in understanding and she quickly slapped her mouth shut. "Oh my god, that sounded wrong."

"It's fine. It's from Draco. He got it for me for my birthday." Hermione mumbled.

There was a pause and Hermione was inwardly cringing at the outburst she was expecting. Instead, what came out was;"And _why _have you never worn it? Look at it! It's gorgeous! You have to wear it."

Hermione sighed and was about to say no.

"Don't you even try to argue. I could always go out there and go buy you the gaudiest necklace you have ever seen and force you to wear it. Now, put this on, right now." Ginny sidled over to the brunette and brushed her hair aside before clasping the necklace. Hermione almost cried at how much it was like when Draco had first put it on for her.

"Can we go now?" Hermione murmured, glancing at what the chain looked like on her in the vanity mirror.

"Yeah. Come on. You look gorgeous."

00000000000

The two girls shopped for hours, before; once again, they parted ways, Ginny for more shopping elsewhere, and Hermione for Paper & Parchment. As soon as she stepped in, she went to the front desk and asked for the key to the muggle books. The clerk gave it to her and she nearly skipped into the small room, joyful that she was to be experiencing more muggle fiction.

After selecting several that were similar in time period to that of Little Women, she hurried out and paid for them before heading to a small secluded café to indulge in them. After a while, she felt someone watching her and she turned to spot Draco only a few meters away. As soon as she looked up, he started walking her way and plunked down on the chair across from her.

There was no posse accompanying him this time, although he hardly ever did anymore.

Hermione remembered her necklace, which was hanging out sparkling in the sunlight, and reached to tuck it into her shirt. Draco was faster though, and he reached forward to grasp it lightly. He had a faint smirk on his face, his grey eyes studying the charm.

"You must miss me a lot to be wearing this." He said, turning the snake around. "I don't think you've ever worn it before."

Hermione flushed, but with annoyance. "No need to flatter yourself, Malfoy, Ginny forced it upon me."

He gave a chuckle. "Right."

Her voice rose. "She did!"

"Granger, no need to get all worked up about it. I was just making a little joke about the necklace."

But there is! She thought, you can't joke about these things. That's cruel. She wanted to reach out and slap him. But instead, she just stood up and pushed her chair in. She grabbed her bag and her books and started walking away.

She made it to the street before Draco caught up and pulled her gently into an alley.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" She asked, shrugging his hand off.

"I'm sorry for joking about your necklace." She could tell the words pained him. Malfoys _never _apologized. "I just, I just wanted to say that for real, I miss you."

Hermione sighed. "I do miss you, Draco. But you know we can never be friends so stop trying. We've gone over this so many times. You have family to protect and I have my own responsibilities."

"We could run away." The words coming out of his mouth were shocking her.

"Run away?" She echoed. Her words came out harshly. "Run away? You want to run away from this and leave the entire wizard community for death to- to Voldemort?"

"I-"

"_You nothing._You're a coward." She stepped away from him. "I'm not going anywhere until Harry defeats Voldemort."

Draco reached out an arm. "I didn't-"

"Stop it. Just say nothing for once, alright?" She said, taking more rapid steps backwards.

"I'm-"His eyes were pleading, but Hermione couldn't let herself sink into them anymore. Remember, Draco is nothing, she told herself.

"I've got to go." She spun around and walked swiftly down the alley and merged into the steady flow of people.

_Draco is nothing._


	7. Happiness and Hate

"Hermione," It was Harry.

"Yeah?" Hermione raised her head from her parchment briefly before continuing to scribble out her answers. "What is it?"

"Have you heard about the Yule Ball?" Harry asked.

She had. Who hadn't? The Yule Ball was the talk of the school, something that gave them all an excuse to push away homework and enjoy time with dates or friends. She had watched girls in her dorm get asked to the ball left and right and sometimes felt a little annoyed that she wasn't asked by anyone. But then she'd remind herself that she didn't have time for a date, or complaining, since _she _needed to go research Horcruxes. Honestly, the Yule Ball was just something to keep everyone's mind off of the impeding war.

"Yeah," She said, dotting the end of her sentence with a neat period before immediately beginning another one. This essay question was really making her brain work, and she loved it.

"I was just wondering if you have a date. I already asked Ginny, and she said yes, and Ron is going with Lavender," His voice trailed off into an uncomfortable silence between the two. Seeing the question in his eyes, she sighed and lowered her quill for a moment.

"No, Harry, I don't have a date, and I'm perfectly content with that. I don't even know if I should go. It seems like a rather frivolous event, and I'm sure I will need the extra time to do some research." She gave him a smile before picking her quill back up. She dipped it in the well of black ink resting beside her books and scratched more words onto her homework.

"Oh, no, Hermione, you're definitely going to this one. You work hard enough on normal weekends, and you deserve a break more than anyone else." Harry said, putting a hand on her moving one to pause her flurry. "C'mon. Have a little fun. We'll research after, I promise."

Hermione sighed and set her quill down on the stand. She sat back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. "Fine, Harry, but you are not purposely finding a date for me, and I am not putting off the research any longer than that. Do you understand? We're already running late on time before this whole full-out war, and we need to have the upper hand." She leaned forward with an intense determination in her eyes. They flickered down to the curling parchment in front of her and she gave Harry a smile. "Go finish your homework so I can do mine in peace."

Harry grinned and stood up, collecting his things. "Alright, I'll leave you alone now."

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_"So," The blond said, leaning on the rail. They were on the balcony of Malfoy Manor at sunset, watching the golden sun fade into shades of pink and purple and navy blue. It sunk slowly, as if desperately trying to stay, but duty was calling for its rays to shine upon somewhere else. _

_ "What?" She said, casting him a quick glance. He was relaxed, his features loose and smooth. His posture as still impeccable and his dress shirt and pants were clean and pressed._

_ "It _is _a ball. Do you want to dance?" He glanced at her quickly before turning away to look at the shining stars appearing._

_ "With who?" She said, turning towards him, a teasing eyebrow raised._

_ He rolled his eyes and turned to face her too. "Me, of course, I wouldn't let any of the other boys get near you."_

_ "I can take care of myself," She said, a smirk on her lips. "What, you don't trust me?"_

_ "I don't trust the other boys." He said. "I don't like the prospect that my best friend could be treated badly by them."_

_ She smiled and touched his shoulder. "I would be fine. But I'm dancing with you, aren't I?" Her hand slid down his arm to grasp his hand and she pulled him into the ballroom, away from the twinkling stars._

_ They stepped into the edge of the dancing mass and got into position, her hands on his shoulder and clasping hands with his, while his other hand rested high on her waist. They stepped in rhythm to the flowing music, right foot back, left foot front; step in, step side; shift hands. He spun her and she laughed, crashing back into his chest. They waltzed around the whole ballroom, grinning and laughing and teasing each other about their "poor" dance moves._

_ At that moment, all she could feel was the happiness and joy that she was dancing with Draco and having fun and enjoying her night in a beautiful dress. She felt happiness in her heart, knowing Draco was having a good time because of her. She felt happiness in the air, swirling around them as they tangoed and waltzed through the room. She felt like they were flying through the air and dancing on clouds, far away from the stifling politeness and Pureblood conversations. They were escaping from reality and into a world where nothing was the matter._

_ Then they stopped, and she felt the adrenaline seeping away into the bodies of the other stately dancers that continued, and her happiness slip away. Back came the politeness and fakeness that the rich were required to possess. Back were the stiff smiles and loose handshakes. Back was reality; that they weren't flying away; that they weren't escaping the rich society rules; that they weren't free and _happy.

_ There was no happiness, really, in the room. There were only fake smiles and plastic words that conveyed the emotion of happiness. But it was all a lie, and underneath all of that, they were mutually disgusted with their partners, that oh my goodness, that dress looks hideous and that tie isn't straight, coursing through their brains. And all they can see is the imperfection of the world they live in, not the parts that made life worth living. They missed the emotions that actions should produce, and instead focus on what is marred. _

_ Happiness was only a fable in this world, and the moment Hermione had stopped dancing was the moment she stepped out of her fable world. She looked around at the people surrounding her, all smiles and masks and stone eyes. She hated it. She hated the rules of rich life. She hated it all._

_ Where there is hate, happiness can hardly survive, and so in that moment, Hermione felt her happiness melt and all that was left was her disgust at the rich, and at her own self for acting the same stereotypical way._

_ Happiness; only a fable. Hate; that's reality._

0000000000

Theo was thoroughly confused. Why was Draco sulking around again, and why was Hermione always rushing? Why didn't they ever talk, or even look at each other? Even when they hadn't made up, they had still looked and talked, or taunted, to each other. What was wrong, _now_? He had thought the worst of it was over, but _no._ They had to have another argument of some kind and ruin everything. Why couldn't they just be friend?

"Theo," Blaise said, nudging his arm. "What are you looking at?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing, just enjoying the view."

"Of the Great Hall?" Blaise asked. His eyebrow was raised in that arrogant way of his. "What's there to see?"

Theodore realized his mistake. "Um, I mean, well, I was just thinking."

"About?" Blaise prompted.

"Draco and Hermione." Theo answered honestly, glad that Draco had decided to skip lunch today. Although he did skip lunch every day and rarely came for dinner.

"What about them?"

"Don't they seem weird to you? They aren't fighting or even looking at each other."

"Isn't that what you wanted to happen?"

"But, they can't even look at each other! I may have wanted them to stop fighting, but that doesn't mean no conversation or eye contact." Theo said, scooping food into his mouth. No matter how important the matter was, he still needed to eat, so he might as well do it during lunch instead of sneaking to the kitchens after curfew. "Do you think we should do something about it?"

"I don't know, Theo. We should let them be." Blaise said. "Things work out better when there aren't others that interfere."

Theo nodded. They would wait and see what was going on between the two, but Theo knew this one wasn't going to work out the way they had planned.

0000000000

"Hermione!" Ginny called, her hand rapping on her closed door. "Open up!"

"You're just going to drag me to buy a dress and I really don't want to right now." Hermione grumbled from inside her room, safe from the barrage of Ginny's fashion talk.

"But if you don't get it now, all the good dresses will be gone and then you won't have anything to wear!"

"That was a no, Ginny."

"I don't care. I'm not having you go to the Yule Ball with an ugly dress on, and embarrassing yourself." Ginny banged on the closed door. "You know I can open it if I want to, Hermione. I'm just giving you a chance. Please?"

Hermione sighed and got up to open her door a crack. "Ginny, I-" She was pulled out by the red-head who had grabbed her arm and pushed down the steps into the common room. Ginny transfigured a cloak for Hermione, grabbed her hand, and ran out the door to go to Hogsmeade.

"Hermione, we're getting a whole day off of classes for us to prepare for the Ball, and I'm not letting our free day at Hogsmeade go to waste." Ginny said, leading her friend into a store. "C'mon!"

Hermione sighed and joined her friend to rummage through the racks of glittering dresses. "Is this really necessary, Ginny? I can just wear the one from fourth year. I'm sure I still fit."

"You are not going to wear the same dress, Hermione. Over my dead body. This is your chance to shine! Use it!" She shoved the stack of dresses she had on her arm into her friend's hands. "Try these on."

Hermione gave a weak smile and headed for a fitting room to try on her dresses. The first one was much too revealing, and she immediately dismissed it. The second was black, a rather inappropriate color for this supposedly happy ball, so she neglected that one too. The third was too sparkly, the fourth with too many bows, the fifth much too large, and the sixth was too short.

"Ginny, at this rate, I'll never find a dress." Hermione groaned, showing off her current dress.

"You have to have faith, 'Mione." She said, shoving more dresses into the room and clearing out the unwanted dresses.

The others continued to disappoint until she found a gorgeous dark red sleeveless dress with just the right smattering of diamond-like rhinestones on her right waist with the cinch, and enough ruffles to look enchanting, but not overdone. It hung straight and loose, but was fashioned to make her look slimmer and with longer legs. The hem barely touched the floor with the heels she had tried on with it, the perfect length for dancing.

"Oh, 'Mione, you are gorgeous. You are totally getting this! If no one asks you to the ball, they will all regret it!" Ginny squealed. What's more was that the dress was perfectly tailored and was just the right price that Hermione could pay.

"Alright, Ginny." She said, a broad smile lighting up her face. But she didn't even need Ginny to persuade her; if Ginny weren't even there, she still would have gotten it. She felt a connection to it, like it was made for her.

And for the first time in a while, she felt true happiness.

0000000000

_Hate. That was what was coursing through her veins. Pansy had stolen her very precious teddy bear and that meant all heck was about to break loose. Yes, the seven-year-old Hermione was very aware that having a teddy bear and sleeping with it every night was not going to make her a very popular girl, but she never wanted to let it go, nor did she care if others thought her daft. _

_ That teddy bear had been with her through everything, birthdays, trips to the beach, fights with Draco, and even crying over her fictional characters that met sad endings. The bear knew everything about her, and even though she knew it could never talk and spill her secrets, having it out of her room or sight was rather frightening, like losing her eyesight and stumbling around with no clue of her surroundings. So when Pansy took it from straight under her nose, she was furious. And disgusted. And annoyed. And let's not forget the hate._

_ "PANSY!" Hermione screamed. She knew she would get in trouble for interrupting the adults' ball for such a "trivial matter" but she really couldn't care less at the moment. All that mattered was her poor bear, in the sticky clutches of one Pansy Parkinson. "PANSY! GIVE HIM BACK!"_

_ She charged into the room, amid all the confused adults sipping from wineglasses. Hermione shoved her way past some of them, causing them to spill their expensive wine on their expensive clothes and their expensive shoes and expensive floors. Where was this- this- Girl?_

_ "Hermione?" There was a hand on her arm and she spun around and almost struck Draco in the nose with her clenched fist. He leaned back, surprise etched in his features. "What are you doing? You're causing a scene."_

_ In her anger, all she saw was red. She sneered. "You would know a lot about that wouldn't you?"_

_ "What are you talking about?" His face was confused, but also bordering on annoyance and anger._

_ "I'm _talking _about your 'perfect' family and your 'perfect manners' and how everything with all you rich people is just lies and fakeness and THIEVERY!" Hermione spat, tugging her arm away harshly before spinning back around to continue her search for the blasted girl. They were all the same, all of them! They all were deceitful. "'I'll just borrow him for an hour, I _promise_.' Yeah, right, an hour. It's been two, and I still can't find your stupid hideout." Hermione grumbled. She felt Draco following her and turned to face him. "What?" She demanded. She really didn't want to deal with him right now. Especially since she just yelled at him and that means he is probably in a bad mood._

_ To her surprise, he just took her hand and led her down a series of hallways and down a set of stairs. "What are you doing?" She asked, trying to shake his hand off. If there was anything Hermione hated more than losing her teddy bear, getting forced into things was definitely up there. _

_ "Taking you to Pansy." Draco said, never breaking his stride. "What did you think?"_

_ Hermione looked at him in surprise and let out a small gasp. "Really? I thought you were the closest friends with Pansy."_

_ "She's annoying. Whatever you're gonna give to her is probably what she deserves. Besides, you're my _best _friend." Draco gave her a look that made a warm, fuzzy feeling spread down from her face through her entire body._

_ He went back to leading her somewhere and she huffed. "Why don't I know this place? This is my house."_

_ "Pansy likes hiding things. Naturally, she has to find hiding places In all the mansions." Draco explained, gently pushing open a door. He motioned inside. _Inside,_ he mouthed._

_ Hermione nodded and stepped in to found Pansy sitting at a table with Hermione's teddy bear and a tea set that looked suspiciously like the one Hermione had thought she had lost a year ago. The girl was pouring imaginary tea for the bear and drinking some herself._

_ Hermione cleared her throat impatiently and tapped her foot. Pansy looked up and a look of surprise, fear, annoyance, and anger crossed her face. "What are you doing here?"_

_ "I'm here for my bear." Hermione said, taking long steps forward to snatch her teddy bear back. Pansy turned away so she missed._

_ "I'm not done with him." She said, the permanent pout hanging on her lips. She hugged the bear closer._

_ Hermione sighed and shook her head. "Pansy, it's been two hours since you took him. I want him back." Hermione tried to keep back the anger; getting angry and lashing out would only make it her fault, since she was the hostess._

_ "I don't want to. I want to keep playing."Pansy whined, her brown eyes quickly welling with fat, drippy tears. Hermione watched in horror as they started tumbling down her cheeks. Hermione knew how to handle an idiot, but how did she handle a crying one?_

_ There was a loud sigh behind her and with her eyes still wide, Hermione turned to find Draco still standing in the doorway. "Pansy, stop being such a crybaby. Just give the dumb bear back and we can all just go back upstairs." _

_ "But-" Pansy wiped at her eyes desperately, embarrassed Draco had seen her like that. "But-"_

_ "No 'buts.' Just do it." Draco snapped, walking forward quickly, snatching the bear away and handing it to Hermione. She took it with swift hands and hugged it close before giving Draco a nod and turning to run back and up the stairs to the party._

_ She heard Draco following her, but no Pansy. Hermione slowed and let him catch up to her. "Thanks." She said, looking down at her shoes._

_ "For what?" Draco asked. "She was deserving of it. It just happened to be me that decided to give her a lesson." _

_ She flicked her eyes up at him before quickly darting back down. "I'm sorry, Drakie." She said quietly. "For what I said when I was mad." She looked up into his eyes. "I didn't mean it. You _are _different from the others."_

_ Draco gave her a tight smile, as if unsure if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. "That's fine." The smile was fleeting and it quickly disappeared as they approached adults._

_ "Hermione!" She spun around to see her mother rushing to her, her heels clicking crisp noises on the floor. "You and I need to have a nice chat, right now." She had a grim look on her face, but still managed a smile for Draco, which Hermione took as a sign that she wasn't too mad._

_ "Yes, Mother." Hermione mumbled, following her mother. She knew she was in trouble, but having her bear back was really making her feel invincible to negative emotions. Now, all she felt like was flying on clouds and dancing in the air. She loved being happy._

0000000000

"Are you excited?" Ginny asked, dragging a comb through Hermione's hair. The brunette winced as the comb encountered a particularly tough tangle.

"Why would I be?" Hermione grumbled, touching her tender scalp before letting Ginny continue.

"Well, we've got a ball tonight," Ginny reasoned, tugging the comb down. She set it down and used her wand instead. Within minutes, Hermione's hair was tangle-free and fell in luscious curls.

"It's just a ball." Hermione said. "You know I think it's a waste of time. We could be preparing for this war that practically nobody is ready for. I could be researching Horcruxes. I know why we're having it, but it really isn't an opportune moment."

"Just relax, will you? You aren't the only one worrying about the war. Think about how the first years are feeling. Or even our own year. They're scared, and this ball is exactly what needs to be done for people to replenish and get back to work afterwards." Ginny countered, pulling out their dresses from the wardrobe.

Hermione heaved a sigh before nodding and donning her dress, along with the simple black heels Ginny had chosen for her. Ginny's dress was creamy white with pink tinting and she wore white heels. They were almost out the door when Ginny rushed back to the vanity.

"We can't forget our accessories!" She exclaimed, pulling out the drawer and rummaging through it for the perfect fit. She pulled out the necklace Draco had given Hermione and handed it to her. "You're wearing that… and this." She handed the brunette a pair of ruby earrings. "We're good." She proclaimed and led the brunette out the door as soon as she finished putting on the accessories.

"Ginny, there's no need to rush, the ball doesn't start till seven!" Hermione said, tugging the redhead back to her. "We'll get there in time; don't worry."

"I'm so excited!" Ginny gasped, a smile spreading across her face. "We'll have so much fun! And you, Hermione, will finally have a night of happiness and bliss."

"Right," Hermione said. Her hand reached up to touch the necklace on her neck, fingering the silver snake. "Happy."

They reached the doors and Ginny rushed through, already gaping at the massive decorations and the beauty of the room. Hermione stayed back, preparing herself to go into the ballroom. She clutched her necklace.

"Happy." She took a deep breath and walked in with the steady flow of people, all lavishly dressed. She needed a lot of happy right now.


	8. Good

The inside of the Great Hall was gorgeous, laced with streamers the House colors and enchanted fairy lights. There were charmed snowflakes that fell in the students' hair and melted away as soon as it touched. The refreshment tables were loaded with pumpkin juice and butterbeer, and plates of glittering pastries. Couples were already engaged in dancing, twirling each other out on the dance floor.

"'Mione," Ginny whined, tugging on her friend's hand. "C'mon! I want to dance, and we need to find you someone."

"I'll be fine." Hermione said, gently removing her hand from Ginny's. "I can take care of myself, Ginny. You go ahead. Harry's waiting for you." With one last smile, Ginny turned and hurried to Harry before whisking him out into the open. They laughed as Harry stumbled and Ginny wanted to twirl.

"Hermione," The voice caused her to spin around. She would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Ron," She said, a pleasant smile on her lips. "I thought you were dancing with Lavender."

He shrugged, a look of annoyance coming over her face. "She's rather boring. All she wants to do is dance. She never lets me eat anything." He lifted up the plate he was holding. It was loaded with treats. "Would you like one?"

She laughed. "No thanks. I think if I eat anything, I will surely burst from this dress." She was a little disappointed that Ron hadn't noticed it yet. Didn't she look pretty enough? Wait, why did she even care if she looked good? It's not very much like her. "I would like a drink though."

"I'll get it." Ron said, turning and rushing to the table. She watched him and laughed to herself when he grabbed more food.

When he returned, they sat at a little table and ate and drank in silence. "Would you like to dance, Hermione?" was what he asked her when he finished and wiped his mouth.

She smiled at him. "Sure, Ron." He stood and offered her his hand, which she took and they strode onto the open floor and prepared for the dance. It was a waltz-y song, something slow enough for Ron to manage to maneuver. His skill had improved since the Head of House had taught them in fourth year.

It was fun, something that made Hermione relax and laugh, although her feet ached for the effort. She enjoyed being able to spend time with Ron that had nothing to do with the war or Voldemort. She was glad she could finally be a good _friend _not just someone who tagged along for the thrill of it.

When the dance was done, Harry took her out, while Ginny and Ron danced. Dancing with Harry was fun too, his dancing skills rather clumsy, but well enough to manage two dances in a row. Hermione liked the fact that he had mentioned how pretty she looked. (Although maybe that was Ginny's doing.)

"Thank you, Harry. You look rather handsome yourself." Her smile was radiant; nothing could make it fade. Ginny was right. She _did _need happy, and fun too. She did need to relax and work out the kinks in her back. She needed to let loose and be a great friend.

Harry finally left, since Ginny was impatient for another dance, and Hermione lingered on the edge of the ballroom, in a corner that nobody currently inhabited. She sat down with a shallow glass of pumpkin juice and watched her friends and frenemies dance and laugh and have fun. She felt like an angel, watching the humans on earth, watching them being safe and carefree and wishing she could be the same, but at the same time happy for them, happy that they had this little haven of friendship and care. It was like all her senses faded away and all the noises were muffled, her eyes the only functioning part of her body, observing the dancers, feeling the fairy lights in her peripheral vision. She could feel their excited emotions floating thickly in the air, and smiled. She loved it when people were happy.

"What, pray tell, are you smiling at now, Granger?"

It was the voice that brought her down to earth, not even the harshly spoken words. Her head turned, her smile fading with every degree she rotated. In his sleek, black dress robes, Malfoy stood; his posture impossibly straight while leaning on the wall. How could he do that? Leaning on the wall required casualness, but his spine was straight as a rod. She shook her head lightly. Now was not the time.

"Hello, Malfoy." Hermione said with a small inclination of her head. She didn't feel like rejecting his interaction, and he stepped closer. "I was smiling at how lovely our classmates look. You can just feel the happiness in the air, and the joy."

The blonde snorted. "Now you're sounding like Lovegood." To tell the truth, she _felt _a little like Luna. Like she was bound to drift off of land. So this was what it was like to believe in those magical nonsensical creatures. Hermione felt too light, and she rather didn't like the feeling. She tried to reel herself back in. She wanted to ask him how's been, how he's handling everything, and what was he doing on the seventh floor at night.

"You shouldn't be talking to me." She said instead. It was a much safer topic, although she was tired of having it.

"I think I'm safe with talking to you. You definitely chose the most secluded corner in this entire room. No one will even notice." Draco said, taking a sip from the glass he held in his left hand.

It was true; her corner was closed off and empty, since it was a genuine corner and there was no room for dancing or tables, just the single chair Hermione was sitting in already. That's also why she was anxious about talking to him. If anyone _did _see, they would think they were hiding something. But Hermione didn't want her friendship with Draco to be a secret; even though that's the way it had to be. If she hadn't broken it off again, that is. She felt safer talking to him out in the open, like she wasn't going behind her friends' backs.

Another thing that was frustrating her was the height difference. He was taking too much pleasure in towering over her, so she stood up and pulled herself up to her full height. It was even more embarrassing, however, when she still barely made it up to his chin.

"It doesn't matter if you think no one will see us. I don't _want _to talk to you right now." She said.

"Just right now? Should I come back later?" His infuriating eyebrow rose. Damn his eyebrows.

"Right now, or _any _time. I don't enjoy your presence, no matter what you may think." Hermione crossed her arms.

"What if I asked you for a dance?" He held out a hand.

She rolled her eyes. "No way. I'm not going out there with you."

"You don't have to go 'out there.' We can dance in this little corner, and no one will see." He flicked his hand impatiently. "Come on, have a little fun."

_Fun._ Yes, that was what she was supposed to have right now. And if the one offering her it is Draco Malfoy, why should she care?

She sighed and looked over her shoulder at the dancing crowd before turning back to him and putting her hand in his. They fit perfectly, like their hands were molded to slide together. He led her a little ways away before taking a step back to bow, and Hermione curtsied.

A new song began and they clasped hands, swaying to the music, taking the steps needed to accomplish the dance. He was an amazing dancer, just like before, and the feeling of dancing with him after dancing with Ron and Harry was incredible. His moves were smooth and stately, and however much she tried to convince herself she enjoyed dancing with her Gryffindor friends, she couldn't help but admit dancing with Draco was much better. Much _easier._ Like they fit together like two puzzle pieces.

Draco dipped his head so his breath graced her exposed neck. "You look lovely tonight."

Hermione blushed. Why was it that Draco had to be the one to purposely tell her that? Ron hadn't even thought about it, and Harry had Ginny to remind him. "Thank you. You look rather dashing yourself."

He smirked, and she swore she could feel a change of temperature in the breath exhaled on her neck. "I believe I always look dashing. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I wouldn't say _always_… Remember that time when we were ten, and you fell in the mud? Narcissa was rather angry you had soiled your new robes, and she had you crying in a minute." She spared a glance to him, to see that his face had gone pale and red at the same time. She grinned evilly at him. "I don't recall thinking you were dashing _then._"

"That was six years ago. I'm talking about now, at school." Draco argued, leading her into a flawless spin. "I'm talking about during the school years."

"I don't really recall you saying 'school years.' In fact," She smirked, a rather Slytherin one that made her think about the necklace dangling from her neck, "I believe that your exact words were 'I believe I always look dashing.' I hear no 'school years' in that."

"A minor slip of the tongue." He glared at her. "Why do you always have to be right?"

"I'm the insufferable know-it-all, Draco. What did you expect?"

"I _expected_ you to swoon when I asked if I was dashing all the time. Not for a brutal reminder of our past."

"What kind of girl would swoon when you asked them if you were dashing?"

"You'd be surprised." Draco said, a playful smirk on his lips. "You might even know some,"

She rolled her eyes. "Then I should rid myself of their acquaintance."

"I believe you already did."

"Then, I'd rather not talk about them." Hermione said. The music slowed to an end and she stepped away. "Thanks." She turned, but Draco grabbed her wrist.

"Wait." He looked nervous. That in itself was a bad sign. Malfoys are never nervous. But then again, they don't dance with "mudbloods" either.

"What?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder quickly. Ginny, Harry and Ron looked occupied for the moment. Good.

"I-" He sighed. Then he pulled her in and bent his head down, placing a kiss on her lips. She felt herself stiffen and her legs clamp up. What was going on? It seemed to last forever, but he pulled away at most a few seconds after it started.

She was in a daze, and just stood there.

He looked embarrassed. _Good. He didn't deserve that. _

"I'm sorry," He said, then turned and walked away.

She turned also, but her steps were slow and awkward, like the kiss had pulled out her ability to walk. She knew it definitely got rid of her speaking skills. She was afraid that if someone tried to talk to her, all she could do was nod. Why did he kiss her?

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed, skipping up to her side. "Did you have fun?"

_Fun._ "Yes, of course." Hermione gave her friend a smile.

"Who did you dance with?"

She hesitated. She couldn't tell Ginny about Draco in front of everybody, so she just said that she had been sitting in the corner, watching.

"How is that _fun_?" Ginny demanded. "Go out and dance, Hermione!"

"Who am I supposed to dance with?" She asked. She felt a little dizzy. Damn that kiss.

"Anyone. I'll dance with you. See? You don't need a partner for this." Ginny grasped the brunette's hand and led her to a corner of the dance floor and swayed to the music. The tempo increased in speed and they linked hands before spinning around in circles, laughing and laughing.

Harry and Ron and Luna and Neville and all their friends joined them, no longer partner dancing, but dancing in a group, safe and secure and _fun._

It was a long time before the ball ended and their Heads of Houses ordered them to bed, so the room could be cleaned and prepped for breakfast. The students filed out, chattering at a dull roar, but sleep crawling its way into their bodies as well. Hermione still swayed on her feet and her head felt hot and light and dizzy.

"Merlin, Hermione, you look entirely too drunk." Ginny scolded, supporting her friend's right side.

"But I didn't even drink any butterbeer.." She argued, pushing her redhead friend away to try to stand by herself.

Harry came over, a frown on his face. "Dumbledore found that the pumpkin juice was spiked with alcohol. Did you drink any?"

"Lots." Hermione said, touching her head. It felt mushy inside, and it felt difficult to think clearly.

"I'll just get you to bed then; you need it." Ginny said, urging her along. "Up the steps, there, good." Hermione felt stupid walking like a toddler just learning the art, but she really couldn't help it. Besides, her feet felt sore already.

The girls reached the dorms and Ginny undressed and redressed Hermione in her nightclothes before setting her in bed and blowing out the light. "Sleep tight, 'Mione."

"'Night." Hermione mumbled, curling up into her blankets. Ginny left, closing the door softly behind her. _Good, _she thought. She closed her eyes and fell into a dream about twirling skirts and nonstop dancing feet, whirling around and around and around forever. _Good._

0000000000

_ "Aw, c'mon, 'Mione." Draco whined. "You're no fun."_

_ "I'd rather be not fun than in danger. You know I hate flying." Hermione crossed her arms indignantly. "I don't care what you say; I'm not going on." She held up a hand as Draco dropped his mouth open to talk again. "I already said it once, stop making me repeat again."_

_ His mouth closed into a tight frown. She hated watching frowns spread over Draco's face, but in this situation, she would do nothing to stop it. She would _not _go on that stupid broom._

_ "Flying is _fun._"Draco urged, swinging his broom around to show her. "You'll be safe; I promise. My coach already says I'm a natural."_

_ "_You're _a natural, but _I'm _not." She huffed, taking another step back. "I don't like being in the air. There are a number of injuries that could happen that way."_

_ "I'll keep you safe," Draco repeated. "I'm a perfectly safe flier."_

_ "I know you're good, Draco." She said."I just, I just hate flying, alright? I'm scared of the height difference, and I'm scared I'll fall, even when you're arm is wrapped around me. I'm such a klutz, I'm sure I could accomplish that."_

_ "You're not a klutz, Hermione. You're just a scared-y cat. Which is nearly as worse." Draco smirked. But it quickly disappeared when he realized he wasn't going to convince her with his snob. "Look, if you fall, I'll still be able to swoop down and catch you. You'll just be free-falling for a _second._ I'm a perfectly safe flier, and you won't fall in the first place."_

_ "But what if I do?"_

_ Draco groaned in frustration. "Oh, come _on_. Just get on, and I'll show you that you won't fall. I promise. Please, Hermione? Just this once. If you hate it, I'll never take you again."_

_ This comment made her hesitate, but she still shook her head. "I don't care. I'm sorry, Draco. I'm just really scared, and I don't like taking the risk."_

_ His face turned angry. "You're just no fun at all, are you? I've done everything I could to convince you, reassuring that you'll be safe, telling you about how I will catch you if you _do _fall- which you won't- and promising I'll keep you safe and sound." His grey eyes were stormy. "But nothing's ever enough for you, right? You just keep making up stupid, _stupid, _excuses to avoid having fun, and prevent other people from having fun too."_

_ "There is nothing stopping you from riding by yourself." Hermione snapped, anger evident in her voice too. "Just because I don't want to ride doesn't mean you have lost the ability to control your idiotic broom."_

_ "But it's not the same!" Draco groaned. "It's not the same when I can't show off to you."_

_ Hermione looked shocked. "So, the only reason you do things is to impress me?"_

_ "Well, sort of, yeah." Draco said. "You're the only one who would be impressed with this kind of thing. Everyone else already thinks flying is just natural for every boy. But no one's shown _you _before."_

_ Now she felt angry and insulted. "So you want to show off to me because I don't think flying is a natural sport and that every boy should already play it and that I would be impressed by such a _stupid _sport?_

_ "Is that what you think? Because I won't be impressed. I'm not impressed that you can straddle a stupid broom and zip around in pathetic circles. I'm not impressed that you play _Quidditch. _I'm not impressed that you're a 'natural flier' or a 'safe one.' I'm impressed by the fact that I was fooled into thinking you were intelligent, but really, you're just an insipid, stupid, _imbecile _of a boy." Her face was burning with the effort of speaking through her clenched teeth. "Just leave me alone, Malfoy."_

_ She pushed past him and stormed back to the mansion, wanting to get out of his presence and the presence of that broom._

_ "I'm impressed that you've managed to stay a total moron about fun. Remember _fun_, Hermione? Remember that? Well, have a good time trying to find that again. Because you're just a cold bitch." Draco snarled._

_ She felt tears brimming in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. He didn't deserve her tears. He didn't deserve any part of her. What he deserved was watching her have _fun _with her friends. With Ron and Harry and Ginny. Watch her get back that fun, right in his face. Because really, he's the one who would never have fun again. Because he was too stupid to realize what it even was._

_ She could hear him cursing and kicking at the stones embedded in the soil. _Good._ He doesn't deserve fun._

0000000000

When she woke up, it was dark in the room and light snores were vibrating around the room. She checked the clock to find that it was two in the morning, but she couldn't fall back to sleep. She shifted in her bed over and over, but finally got up.

Her head felt like it was going to blow open, so she grabbed her wand and performed a few spells to dull it, until she felt nearly clear- headed. Since she felt so restless, she got out of bed, threw a cloak on and headed out the door, careful not to wake up one of her roommates.

She went straight to the Astronomy Tower, wanting some fresh air and peace. It was the perfect temperature at night, cool, but warm enough to be comfortable. Hermione reached the open space and took in a deep breath.

"What are you doing up here again?"

She spun around, wishing she had brought her wand and cursing that she was stupid enough to forget it. She didn't need it, since Draco was the one who emerged from the shadows. Something about this tugged at her memory, but she didn't know why.

"What do you mean by again?" She asked. And then an image came to her. A hazy thread of a memory; her coming up to the tower one night, meeting him from the shadows, talking, and then white. What did they talk about? What did they do? What was the white?

He paled, realizing his mistake. She was never supposed to have been up here before. And now he had probably triggered memories of that night. "I just meant; why are you up here? I didn't mean to say 'again.'"

She frowned. "Are you hiding something from me, Draco?"

"Why would I ever hide anything from you?"

"Stop deflecting my questions with your own. Answer me."

"Hermione. You wouldn't want to know my secrets if I had any."

"I don't care. Just tell me. Just do it." She stepped closer to him.

"I can't." He said, taking a measured step backwards. The moonlight hit his face at just the right angle, lighting up the planes of his face. Now they looked wary and tired.

"Why can't you? Since when have you been hiding secrets from me? You're supposed to tell me everything." She took several steps forward, daring him to move back against the wall. "When did that change?"

"Since I found out you were a mudblood." He said. She hated how he said that without a flinch.

"No." She said, her voice dangerous and quiet. "No, it started before then."

"You don't know anything."

"You think I don't, but I do. I know all about how Lucius is involved in Voldemort's plans, I know how Lucius wanted you to be too. I know the snake-y bastard is gaining power and followers, and I know that he wants you to join him. Given that you're a Malfoy and all." Her eyes were lit up with buried anger. "But you didn't tell me anything."

"I was protecting you." He argued.

"You _thought _you were protecting me. All you really did was hurt me even more. In my heart." She said. "It's not all fun and games, Draco. People will get hurt, and I understand that. You don't have to protect me from anything."

He was silent.

Hermione remembered another detail. "I still haven't seen your arm."

"No." He said. His voice was dull and lacked the smugness she was used to.

"No _what?_" She snapped. "Stop being such a baby. No _nothing._ I need to see your arm because everyone I know is so deadly stuck on believing you're a Death Eater. But I don't –_I can't-_ believe that." She held out her hand, grasping his left arm.

He jerked it away. "I won't let you."

"You're acting like a baby." Her voice was strained, choked noises leaking through. "Please, Draco." Tears were clouding her eyes, making the world blurry. "I need to know, please. You're not a Death Eater. _Please._" She wiped her eyes furiously. "You can't be a Death Eater-" She broke down in more tears. "You wouldn't have. You _couldn't_ have. You promised. You told me you would never do it. You _promised. _And I believe that promise and I'm holding on so tight, and everyone I know keeps telling me it's no use. It's _not '_no use.' You wouldn't _dare._" She looked at him, her eyes puffy, looking into his steel grey eyes. "You wouldn't. Would you?"

He just sighed and raked his hand through his hair. God, she wanted to pull that silky hair right off his head.

"_Answer me!"_ She screamed. She didn't care she would probably get in huge trouble for curfew, probably have detention for weeks, probably earn a look of disapproval from all the elders she cared about. "Now." She whispered.

He held out his arm.

She took it, gently tugging up his sleeve, praying under her breath, tears dripping down her chin. _Please._ It went up farther, revealing blue veins. _Please._ It went up farther.

"I'm sorry."

There was a black snake, hissing, curling, _disgusting._ She yanked it down, fresh tears leaving torrents of wet on her cheeks. She cried, stepping away, rocking back and forth. _How could he do this?_

How could he do this to her? To his promise? To his life? To all the people that were counting on Hermione? How could he do it? Anger bubbled up in her chest, rising, like vomit, coming up out of her throat as a strangled scream and she stepped forward and slapped him. She watched his cheek redden and slapped his other one. They started blossoming in flush red, and she thought _Good, that shows his shame._ She kept slapping, swinging her arms, punching, and getting her hands on every part of him. He winced with every hit. _Good. He deserves it._

"_How could you do this to me?_" She screamed, fists pounding, palms slapping.

"Hermione, Hermione, calm down. Stop."

"How the _hell _am I supposed to calm down? You _stupid, stupid, _imbecile! Do you realize what you've done? Do you?" She slammed her fists into his chest. He stumbled backwards. _Good, _she thought.

"I didn't have a choice." His voice was stupidly calm, stupidly quiet.

"_Shut up!_ You don't even understand the pain I am feeling!" She punched him. "Do-" another swing, "-you-" A slap. "-even-" Punch. "-understand-" Slap. "-what-" Her fist rammed into his chest. "-you've-" Crying. Tears. "-done?" She broke down, sinking to her knees, sobbing, He knelt with her, hugging her. She shoved him away. "Don't touch me, you jackass."

He just sighed and leaned back against the wall. She cried for hours. She sat and cried and cried and cried, saying "Why?" and "How could he?" and "What did I do wrong?" She cried and sobbed insults at him, trying to glare, but unable to focus her teary eyes on a single object.

Finally, she stopped, trickling the sobs to silent tears to only a steady flow of hiccups. Her head hurt, her eyes felt puffy, and her skin itchy, like she didn't belong in it. She looked at the moon. "Why did no one come?"

"I cast a silencing spell."

She felt her heart squeeze. Of course he would think of that. Since he's so _good _at keeping secrets.

She stood up. "I'm leaving."

"I'll walk you." He stood up too.

She spun around, glared at his hair, not his eyes. She couldn't stand looking at his grey eyes right now. "No. I don't want you anywhere near me. Stay away. Forever. Always. _All the time._" She turned and left through the door, slamming it shut and hurrying her way back to the dorms.

"Wait!" His voice was quiet, since his silencing spell obviously did not follow him. "Hermione, wait."

She kept walking, speeding up as his footfalls got closer. He finally grabbed her hand and pulled her to a stop. "What the hell do you want?" She snapped.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" He asked. His grey eyes…

She turned her head. "Are you stupid? Of course I will."

His grip tightened. "You can't. Do you hear me? You _can't._"

"Why can't I? You betrayed my trust, I'm betraying yours. Seems like a fitting punishment to me." She spat.

He shook his head. "The real Hermione would never say that. She would never turn on someone because of something like this."

"Yeah? Well the _real _Hermione is gone now. Now there's only me. Me, the Hermione that thinks you deserve much worse than me betraying you. Me, who thinks that I would very much like to 'avada' you right now. Me, who hates your entire being, down to every last fiber."

"Stop it." He said. "You don't mean it."

"Don't I?" She challenged.

He sighed. "You can't tell anyone." He repeated.

"I can."

"Then I can make you not tell anyone. Would you like that better?"

"What, you'll obliviate me?_ Again_?" She spat.

"No, I'll just threaten your family and friends until you beg on your knees to say you won't tell anyone." He snarled. Her eyes widened. He wasn't supposed to say that. He softened. "I didn't mean that, Hermione."

She shook her head. "I don't even know who you are anymore, Draco. I'm not doing favors for you, and I'm not making you seem like a good person to my friends anymore. Because you aren't. Remember that time when you asked me what you were? I change my answer. You're a monster._ You're a monster. _You hear me? _A monster._" She jerked her hand out of his grip and ran down the hall, and into her dorms. She didn't hear him follow her. _Good._

She entered her room and collapsed on her bed, casting a silencing charm on her canopy. Hermione sobbed into her pillow.

_How could he do this to her?_

0000000000

_Hermione had been noticing things. Draco no longer seemed like a child of just fifteen. He seemed older, not sophisticated, just worn out and _old._ He nearly never spent any time with her anymore, just "trained" with his father._

_ She knew what they were doing in there. Lucius was dueling with him constantly, throwing Unforgivable Curse after another. Throwing deadly spells. She had stumbled upon one "training" session once, and Lucius had sneered at her._

_ "Get out, Miss Granger." He snapped. "Father- son time."_

_ She had listened and closed the door again, but not before noticing the blood streaking Draco's face. _

_ She knew he was falling deeper into the Death Eaters plans. So she called him together one night._

_ "Hermione? Why did you call me here?"_

_ "Draco." She said. "I know what you do with your father in training."_

_ He stiffened. "That's none of your business."_

_ "But it is. You're getting hurt and I don't like it."_

_ "It's not a matter of liking."_

_ "Has Voldemort recruited you yet?"_

_ "Why are you changing the subject?"_

_ "Answer me."_

_ He sighed. "Not yet."_

_ "Good." She said, touching his hand, gripping it tightly. "Promise me you won't take it."_

_ "Take what?" But he knew what she was talking about._

_ "_Promise._" She tightened her hold. He winced and she turned it over to inspect. "Oh my god, Draco." There was a deep gash oozing blood. _

_ "It's nothing."He insisted. "Just a little injury."_

_ "If this is little, what's a major injury, Draco? A stab? A Cruciatis?" She snapped, taking out her wand for healing spells._

_ "I'm fine."_

_ "You're not fine, and this is why I want you to not take the mark."_

_"I won't."_

_"Promise me, now." She said, hugging him._

_ "I promise, Hermione."_

_ "Say it out loud. The whole thing."_

_ He hugged her, pulling her hair away from her ear so he could speak into it. "I, Draco Malfoy, promise I won't take the Dark Mark."_

_ She smiled. "Thank you." She hugged him tight. _Good.


End file.
